My Baby Girl

In His Tears

One tear hits the hardwood; it shatters like glass
A shot of whiskey sits; medicine for the pain
Another shattered heart; he feels like such an ass
The drink isn't working; her memory remains.

He stumbles to the sink; slowly pours it down the drain
A box of photographs on the table; constant reminders
She should be here today; he knows he is to blame
If only he could get past this; like some sort of blinder

He slams a fist into the wall; then screams out
He's staring at the phone; damn it why won't it ring
He hears her voice; knowing its his heart full of doubt
If only she was here; because seeing is believing

A swerving car jerks him back; it's reality once more
Her sweet voice whispers; she knows she's gone
The cemetery shines; a haven and heaven's door
Restless sleep seeing her; he prays for the dawn

A screen door slams in the wind; a car pulls into the drive
Cool wind rushes over him; suddenly she's standing there
She whispers in his ear, "I love you."; he believes she is alive
But in his mind he wonders; is this reality or a terrible nightmare?

He can smell her perfume; her face he can feel
She's in his arms; but for how long
It's an illusion he's certain, but damn it seems so real
Something seems out of place; he knows she doesn't belong

Tossing and turning; he awakes with no breath and a sharp pain
He smells like her; her lipstick is on his face
Suddenly it hits him; he's visited her on an astrological plane
Their love was true and real; nobody will ever take her place

Matters of the heart, so simple yet complicated
She's been gone for a while; going on twenty years
He's prayed for this moment; he's waited and waited
She knew he needed her; she could see it in his tears

She's watched over him since the day; he'd always managed so well
These past few years have taken their toll; they'll be together soon
His drinking has gotten bad; especially since he last fell
She's come to take him with her; once restless night in June.

Addi Greyce

Here's another one of Addisen. She was a little pissed in this one because the mean 'ole ultrasound man shook her to get her to move her hands from her face. She's repeatedly kicking the crap out of my bladder when this was taken! She seems to be just a stubborn as her Mommy already.

Addisen Greyce

It's Addisen sucking her thumb. She is 20 weeks and 3 days old now. She's 10 ounces and growing bigger and bigger everyday!

emotionally UN-stable

Looking back on where I've been in this life and where I plan to go, I realized, there's not a whole lot standing in my way. Well, unless you count my ever-expanding belly and the baby I'll deliver in about four months. But I don't personally consider that a "roadblock". Got me? Yea, I'm sure that will cause a minor slow down but won't necessarily put a permanent hault to my lifelong goals. It seems I've had oodles and gobs of time to sit around and think about what I want, what I need, and how I'm going to achieve these things since I left my job at the bank. Do I miss work? Hell yes. Do I want to go back right this very instant? Hell no. I'm quite content here in the present, but it just seems there is a lot of time for thinking. Even this damn blog, I could've updated it a million times already, but chose not to. I used to be able to sit down and write for hours, with no subject in mind or direction to be taken. Just write. Just relax. Nowadays, I couldn't write to save my life. I've hit a block and I don't like it. I've got all these pent up emotions and feelings screaming "LET ME OUT YOU CRAZY BITCH!!", and I can't seem to write 'em all down fast enough or even at all. Here they are, swirling around, taunting me and I can do anything but choke back the tears because I can't make 'em go away. Ok, I forsee about a million "prozac, zoloft, wellbutrin, and paxil" jokes headed my way, but I can't help it. Hell, if you are one of those "medicated" people like I used to be (No harm in being medicated!) then you know what I'm talking about. The never-ending fight for silence in your head. Even when I sleep they don't go away. I wake up still thinking about some problem or feeling. Where's your husband, you ask? HA HA!!! That's really a funny question because even when I do try and talk to him, he doesn't understand. As most men wouldn't. It's not about any one thing in particular or any one person..it's just a whole lotta EVERYTHING. Overwhelmed. Someone needs to plop my ass down in the center of group therapy, give me a pink straight-jacket, and let me just TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK!! Hell, at this point I could talk to a wall. I should probably quit while I am ahead and go cook dinner. Everyone has these problems, right? Everyone needs a hug sometimes, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Just Married

So, for those of you that didn't actually think I'd ever really do it (getting married that is) I DID!! January 21, 2007...Peter and I got married. The kids were the best little flower girls and ring-bearers that I'd ever seen...and nothing could have been more beautiful than the entire day. I had family come in from everywhere as well as Peter's family. The reception was great too. Cathy (the hot one on the far left) came in Sunday morning and helped out with EVERYTHING...I don't know what I would've done without her there. I'll be posting more pictures so you all can admire them. Well, atleast for those of you who actually read this thing anymore!