Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Rundown on Me

Ohhh....where to begin. Life isn't a peachy keen as it was during my last post. My beautiful baby girl is 2 1/2 years old now. She's the spitting image of me; mean like me; bossy like me; and 110% demonic. She's growing so fast and it's unreal how much she changes each day. Her new favorite saying? "Fuck off!" Yeah, I don't need to hear it from anyone, I already know. Mommy has a potty mouth and now my baby girl does too. I make an honest effort to censor what I say around her, but she always manages to be around when I slip. Hell, I'm only human and I figure her potty mouth is way better than her having a raging crack habit. My once happy marriage has now dissolved into mush...on my doing. I honestly don't think I was ever truly happy there. I think it was too fast and too much for me and it all kinda hit home at a time where I was more than capable of taking care of myself and my mini-monster. It wasn't an overnight ordeal either. It'd been coming for awhile and I tried and tried to fight it, but in the end, my own selfishness and need for independance won. As always. I'm happy now. My feet are cold at night, but I'll manage. Addi is happy, she isn't showing many signs of stress or shock from us moving out so I guess doing this while she was still pretty young was best for her. She loves her Daddy. All little girls do. I don't think him and I were ever supposed to live together and be together forever; however I do believe everything happens for a reason and whatever that reason is we have an amazingly well-rounded daughter together. Him and I don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things (and no, my miniature stature has nothing to do with this) and in the end, our vast differences were too big for me to ignore any longer. He didn't want this, but being the selfish asshole I am, I didn't take his opinion into consideration when I made my choice to leave. He's been pretty OK with the last few months though. He sees Addi when he's not working and that's all I ask of him. Enough with that now..
Work: I LOVE my job. I work with a great group of people who make me laugh hysterically everyday and who drive me batshit crazy all at the same time. Who the hell would've thought that merchant processing was any kind of fun?! Actually, its not; it's highly stressful, emotionally and mentally demanding, and ridiculously repetitive, but my co-workers make it fun. We all get along great (with the exception of this one old bag) and we truly enjoy working with each other. Oh, and they bring in a massage therapist every once in a while so we can all get a little rubdown. No happy ending included.
School: I'm like INCHES away from my Bachelor's Degree. I cannot wait to graduate and join the world of criminal investigation. I live for bloody, gory messes and I'm looking forward to throwing a few scumbags to the ground and holding my gun to their head. Seriously, and especially those sick fucks who prey on little children. Watch out, perv!
Life in General: I'm here. I'm happy. I'm living. I've got this one guy that lives in the land of sand stuck in my head for some reason lately. I have no clue why. I haven't talked to him in probably 3 years. Every once in a while he'll pop into my head and stay for a few weeks. I talked to his Mom today and left my number for him. I hear he's still playing around halfway across the world, but should be back in town on Monday. She gave me his number, but who knows. Maybe he'll call and maybe he'll get the message and not even have a clue who the hell I am. Eitherway, it makes me feel better knowing he's still alive. He was so much fun back then. He kept me company at work (or got me in a lot of trouble while I was there because we'd talk for so long) I kinda miss him. Funny thing is, when he's home; we only live about 45 minutes apart.
Here's to you, Cupcake. I heard you're alive and doing well and that makes me smile. If you're reading this, your mom has my number.

No comments: