Scrumdidilyumpcious

so cute, yet so far away.......

Hmmm....

This is basically what I feel like today. Kinda just oompa loompa doopin' around.........I need my pajamas, couch, and tv remote and I'll be in Oompa Loompa heaventy doo

Whores Are Stupid........

From: racheal
To: Meghan Lyons
Subject: RE: i dont want bad luck (too late)
Date: Thu, 24 Nov 2005
i know you dont ever want to hear from me but i am sorry to hear what happened to you. and i apologize for ever hurting you. you are a good person and you didnt deserve that. i could never prove to you how sorry i really am. i hope you continue to better youself in all ways including losing him, as much as it may have hurt you are too good for him and you never should have had to deal with any of that crap. once again i really am sorry. if you ever decide to change your mind about giving me another chance at friendship give me a call at (number deleted by blog administrator, for the sake of being the bigger person) i dont expect your but i do hope for it daily. good luck and goodbye

racheal megan mcdaniel


I'd really like to know what you think "happened to me" because I'm sure whatever you've heard isn't the truth. I kicked Josh out 6 months ago because he wouldn't get a job and was addicted to coke. Josh and I are still friends and are on good terms with one another...I still talk to his family and him on a regular basis. I know about the times he cheated on me and we've dealt with that. I'm totally fine with the way things turned out between us and in no way hurt about it. I'd like to hear what you've heard though.
Meghan
** see, I wasn't near as mean as I could have been....

I was told that he did you really wrong somehow and was addicted to meth. he was supposedly really controlling and cheated on you on a regular basis. you knew about it but he wouldnt let you leave or something well whatever happened i am glad you didnt get hurt from all of it and i wish you the best. i am sorry for all i ever did to you and hope you will forgive me. you will always be one of the best friends i ever had. i am living back at my moms now because the army kicked me out. i spent 5 months in basic training and it made me grow up and realize all i have done. i dont have a phone hear but i usually find a phone to use at some point during the day. if you dont hate me too bad then give me a number and we could atleast talk even if it is just to hear what i have heard although i would rather it be for some type of friendship. e-mail me back if you get the chance. see ya later

racheal megan

He was addicted to meth, he was controlling, he was NOT cheating on me on a regular basis, all though he did cheat on me with YOU, sarah, and another Megan. I have no harsh feelings towards him or anyone else that he associates with. I don't want to drag up everything about josh and I that I have worked so hard for the last 6 months to put behind me. He really hurt me and it still hurts to this day, but I've come a long way in not letting him bother me anymore. I hope you can understand what I mean when I say that there will never be a "friendship" between us again. You represent a part of my life that I try harder and harder everyday to forget. You, Josh, and anyone else that I used to talk to from that crowd are apart of my past, and I don't want to keep bringing it up. I couldn't ever look at you the same way, knowing that you royally fucked me over. I'm doing good now, I have my own house, I have a great job, and a brand new car, and I am very happy, just know that I have no hard feelings towards you or your sister, but I can't be around someone that fucked me over or was associated with the "josh" part of my life. All that is over now, and I don't want to remember it everytime I look at a "friend". Good luck in life and all you do.

Meghan

** once again, I could have been really really mean! The bitch slept with my boyfriend!


you have only heard one side of the story and this will be the last e-mail if that is what you wish. yes i sleep with josh not while you were together i told him to get back with you. i did not sleep with any of his friends so i am lost on that one. i did kiss chris and i did kiss jd i did not sleep with any of his friends. he broke up with you on his own and that was when we slept together. he said you guys were totally through and after his short comings i told him to get back with you. i dont want anything to do with him. i dont remember what all the rest of that said but i am very for you and your knew life i am glad you could rise above it all. goodbye

racheal megan

so just because she slept with him and he didn't measure up to her whore ass expectations, she sent him back to me, because God knows it was that decision right there that would have made or broke mine and Past's relationship. Who are you kidding bitch? You were just another notch on his belt, at least I got almost 3 years out of him! Ha, you got 2.5 min!

Real Friends Stab You in The Front

In the past couple of months, I find myself trying harder and harder to forget the "Past" part of my life. When I think about the last 2 years, I get sad. I remember everything I gave up, I let go, I pissed away, for someone that I thought would always do the same for me, little did I know that he was just another dead end road paved with pretty lies and broken dreams. I believe I've gone a damn good job of "forgetting", but it never fails; everytime I think I've done my best to let go and forgive, someone comes along and drags it all up again. This time the "someone" was a so-called friend that happened to sleep with Past while we were together. She sends me an e-mail out of the blue apologizing for what she did, and saying shit like "I know you never deserved all that I did to you" and "I know your too good for Josh"....well for someone that fucked me over royally, she sure knows a lot. She goes on to say that she wants us to be friends again and she gives me her number and tells me to call. I, being the bigger person, replied to her message and politely (as polite as I could get talking to someone that slept with my ex) told her that I didn't think we would ever be friends again, and I couldn't be friends with someone that I trusted and they screwed me over. I wished her luck, and told her I hoped she never had to go through what I did with Past. Well, the bitch just doesn't seem to get the point, she e-mailed me again and told me what she "heard" about my and Pasts' relationship:
1.He was addicted to meth/anything you put in front of his nose
2.He was controlling
3.He cheated on me on a regular basis
4. He was abusive both physically and mentally
5. I wasn't allowed out without him

Whoever is telling her this crap, which I'm guessing is Past's friend whom she slept with too, told her mostly true things, other than number 3. Yes, he did cheat on me but it wasn't on a regular basis. I sent her another email and told her that if she wanted to read all the happenings of mine and Pasts' relationship, and get the truth, she could visit my website. Am I wrong for not wanting to be "friends" with someone that slept with my ex while we were very much together, and that I couldn't trust from the beginning? No, didn't think so. I'm very happy with my life now, and she represents a part of my life that I try harder and harder to forget everyday. I don't want to be associated with anyone that I used to hang out with in that crowd and I damn sure don't want to talk to anyone that still associates with Past. I had a run-in with Past last night. He was at my apartment complex, talking to a friend, but strangely parked in front of my house. I was with another friend, who happens to be in the male species. Well, true to "Past form" he got a little hurt and I had all the satisfaction in the world knowing that it was killing him to see me get in some other guys vehicle, laughing, and drive-off. Its times like those when I wish I had a camera. He still has a girlfriend, and I still don't want him back, so he can get off whatever stalker trip he's on and get over himself, because he's really not all he's cracked up to be. I hope when the so called "friend" reads this, she prints it out and shows it to him. How funny is that? Why in hell would I want to be friends with someone like her? She's a lying, manipulative, front-stabbing, homewrecker. I don't blame her entirely for sleeping with him, because it was apparently her life long fantasy, but was it what you always expected? HELL NO!!! haha Past is pretty much "short" if you know what I mean, and I know she got nothing out of it, so really, I could care less. Now, if I can get her to stop e-mailing me, we'll be doing even better than before......

Meat Saddles and Coke Addicts

We went out last night and I could not have had a more boring time. Every song sang in the Corral was a "sad country love song" and just about every person in that place was falling asleep. I've never yawned so much in my life. We left early and went to the cafe to eat, well I didn't eat. Afterwards we went home and I went to bed. So is the life of a teenage burnout

50 Things About Me

1. I have uneven ears.
2. I'm deathly afraid of cemetaries.
3. I still sleep with a night-light.
4. I want my Mommy when I'm sick.
5. Sometimes I scream for no reason.
6. My cat hates me.
7. My friends think I'm completly nuts, but so are they!
8. I cried when I moved out on my own.
9. I write poetry.
10. My favorite color is pink.
11. I'm afraid of falling absolutely, completely, and utterly in love.
12. I hate being alone.
13. I can cry on command.(comes in handy when dealing with the ex).
14. I live in complete chaos, because I wouldn't have it any other way.
15. I'm unpredictable
16. I'm unstable
17. I'm a force to be reckoned with
18. I'm only 5'0
19. I still fit in my 12 year old brother's shoes
20. I can't stand my family for more than 30 minutes at a time.
21. I've fantisized about killing someone with a stilletto shoe.
22. I still wonder whether God is real or not.
23. I refuse to believe that the virgin Mary is a "virgin"
24. I believe in following your dreams(unless they're deadly)
25. I can't tell you my natural hair color anymore, I have to refer to pictures.
26. I've been to Cancun
27. My little brother looks exactly like me
28. I wish on falling stars
29. I once laughed so hard I made myself puke
30. I laugh out loud at random times, for nothing in particular
31. I'm a self-diagnosed lunatic
32. I will kill deer, just not any other animal, because anything else is just cruel
33. I don't have a birthmark
34. I can mimick any foreigner (especially Chinese, Vietnemese, or any other "ese")
35. I hate my evil "step-thing" (Dad's new thing)
36. I get really loud and funny when I'm drinking
37. I can dance to anything on the radio
38. My car is a disaster area because I refuse to clean it
39. My house smells like warm vanilla sugar and cinnamon buns
40. I smoke all day long
41. I need music and a notebook to get me out of a bad mood
42. When I'm sad I eat starbursts and write in my journal
43. I cry when I feel I've let myself down
44. I hate my last name
45. My cell phone is my life-line
46. I dip Nestle Crunch bars in my hot chocolate
47. I still drink apple juice every night before bed
48. My bathroom is done in rubber duckies
49. I don't have one friend below the age of 23
50. Before I die, I will visit Paris

Cupcake.....

such a sweet, sweet little man! If it was my choice, I'd be laying on the couch watching a movie with him, but he decided that Iraq is a lot more important, and fun. What a tangled web we weave..........

Hurray For Stupid People.....

So what if God forgot your grocery money and you can't ever find the right sized plaid, drawstring undies! Life is full of unhappy moments.....put on your big girl panties and deal with it!

Eve Is A Bitch!!!!

1. Cupid works for the devil.
2. Be suspicious if ANY man cries.
3. Sex is usually good, but it ain't always right.
4. Chocolate is a band-aid no matter what anyone says.
5. Shoes won't ever stretch.
6. MEN DON'T CHANGE!

I need my jammies, a pint of ice cream, a vicodan, and the t.v. remote and I'd be set. I feel like I've been run over by a dump truck and then backed over, just for good measure. PMS IS THE BEST!!! Ha, I should rewind time and beat the hell out of Adam.....see our problems began with me, and I've got a feeling they'll end that way too!

Haunted By My Past

I'm sailing through life, with little turmoil and distraction, when all of the sudden; SCHWACK! The Past returns. After our last falling out, about 3 weeks ago, I'd chosen to be forever rid of him. ::Rewind 3 weeks:: Past calls out of the blue on a Sunday evening;
Me: "Hello"
Past:"Hey You"
Me:"What?"
Past:"You win, you sneaky little bitch."
Me:"What did you call me? What did I win?"
Past:"You and my mother both are sneaky little bitches, and you win the war, me and Heather broke up."
Me:"What's your point?"
Past:"Isn't that what you wanted?"
Me:"No, I really didn't care either way. I just liked pissing her off, and making your life a living hell like you did to me."
Past:"Where are you?"
Me:"What day is it?"
Past:"Sunday, your at your mothers."
Me:"Ding, Ding, Johnny! Tell 'em what he wins"
Past:"When are you going to your house?"
Me:"Why? You think since ya'll broke up you can run back to me, just like that?"
Past:"You know I love you, and didn't want to be with her."
Me:"We'll talk about this later. I'm on my way home, so meet me there."
*-* To make a long, and repetitive story, really short. He came over, we talked, he "said" he hated her, she was dumb as a box of rocks, and he wasn't going back. I'm very cautious with my feelings, and heart towards him. My heart has been ripped out, walked on, and band-aided back together many, many times in the 2 and a half years "we" were. We've been going back and forth for the last 6 months with each other. My feelings have changed drastically towards Past in the last 2 months. I know now, I don't need him. I never NEEDED him. It wasn't love, it was companionship. I highly doubt myself when it comes to love. I believe nobody on this earth knows the true meaning. I believe you can find that one special person and be with them for the rest of your life and be happy, but love was made up by Hallmark and candy companies for Valentines Day. Anywho.....::Fast forward to last-night:: I get another phone call from, none other than the highly illusive and pesterious Past;
Me:"Hello."
Past:"Hey you."
Me:"Hey yourself,jackass, what do you want this time?"
Past:"What in the hell got into you?"
Me:"Not you!!!" hahahah laughing my ass off at that one!
Past:"I know that. Why the attitude?"
Me:"Everytime I see one of your many phone numbers on my phone, I get the urge to puke and my head starts pounding. My ears turn off, because all I hear are lies, bullshit, and empty promises."
Past:"Sounds like you figured me out."
Me:"A long time ago......where are you calling from now?" Jail? Rehab?"
Past:"No, smartass. I'm at work?"
Me: haha(laughing my ass off again) your funny. Seriously, where are you?"
Past:"Damnit Meghan, why can't you be serious?"
Me:"There is NO serious between you and I any longer. I'm glad to hear you are working, though."
Past:"Thank you."
Me:"How long will this job last?"
Past:"They're saying a couple months, but you know how this goes." I could be home tomorrow."
Me:"I know." "How's the "new thing"?
Past:"You know her name, Meghan, and I don't know how she is because I haven't talked to her yet."
Me:"Such a healthy relationship you have going there. Get in from work and call the ex, before you call the new one." Nice!"
Past:"I'm in Huntsville. Are you going to come up for a weekend?"
(once again, I find this hilariously funny)
Me:"Let me call "her" and I'll see if thats ok with her."
Past:"You always come up and see me, when I'm working."
Me:"Yea, when we were TO-GET-HER, we're not anymore, and no, I'm not coming to see you."
Past:"It's not the same, Meghan. You took care of me. You cooked, cleaned, washed the clothes.
Me:"Well, love is blind and little did I know, you were just another dead end road paved with pretty lies and broken dreams."
(he gets really mad and starts yelling here)
Past:" DAMNIT MEGHAN. ALL I EVER DO IS TRY AND GET US BACK TOGETHER. YOU WANTED ME TO WORK, SO I'M WORKING. YOU WANTED ME TO QUIT DOING DRUGS, SO I QUIT DOING DRUGS. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?"
Me:"I want you to lower your voice, and speak to me in a calm, adult manner."
Past:"Ok, I'm sorry."
Me:"I know you are, now apologize!" Ok, Ok.....I'll quit being a smartass. I just find it extremely funny that you are "trying" to get us back together when you have a fucking girlfriend, and have since I kicked your ass out 6 months ago! Your not working on a god-damned thing, other than another dead end relationship." "I refuse to come see you, talk to you, e-mail you, or have anyother form of communication with you until you are single, have had a job for more than 6 months, and live in your own house." "I have no need for someone that works and makes as much as you do and has not a damn thing to show for it. It's all one big circle with you. Work, spend everything you make, get laid off, lay up for a year, work, spend all you have.... are you catching on here?"
Past:"I know, Meghan. I'm trying to do better."
Me:"Well, try harder. I can't help you anymore. I have to go."
Past:"Your really not going to come up here are you?"
(he gets really quiet and all sad sounding)
Me:"No, I'm not."
Past:"Ok, I guess I'll let you go now."
Me:"You need to, it's not healthy to hang on like you have."
Past:"Shut up, you know what I mean."
Me:"Yea, I mean what you know." Past.......I don't even know what to say to you anymore, it hurts me that we're not "us" anymore, but I'm at the point with you now, that I really dont' care if I don't see you again. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. I've never lied to you, and I'm not going to start now."
Past:"Quit calling me that." I know everytime I call you, you get upset and nothing ever works out like I want it to, so I'll hang up now, and that'll be it. I won't bother you anymore. I figured it was worth a shot to ask anyway."
Me:"Ok, be good and maybe we'll see each other sometime."
Past:"Bye Meghan, I love you."
Me:"Bye, Josh."
***I hung up, and just sat there. A big part of me wanted to call him back and tell him I'd be there, but a bigger part of me kept saying "let it go, Meghan, he's just trying to get to you to see if he still has control over you." The weird part was, that voice in my head, sounded a lot like a good friend of mine; Hi, Train! Well, guess what mother fucker, the only control you have over anyone is that tramp ass girlfriend you have!

Life Goes On and On and On and On......

you get the picture. No matter how we live, love, or lose, life continues to go on. We're all the soap in the bottom of the bath tub. We slip and slid around, trying not to get stepped on, we gather a film, kind of a "shell", and the one day someone who loves us more than anything in the world, picks us up and rinses us off. From that day forward, we aren't just soap in the bottom of the bath tub anymore. Granted, we're still being used and abused and left to gather film, but we don't get dropped and forgotten and left to wash down the drain. We're perched on a shelf, and well taken care of, until we wash away and are all used up. By the "used up" time in our lives, most of us are old, gray, and wrinkled. We've done just about all we wanted to in life, and have lots to show for it.

Find 'Em?

In the land of 40 somethings, and medicine to help you remember, somtimes these "pills" don't work. I was at my mother's house last night, doing laundry and the usual Sunday stuff, and everything was going good. I went next door and got a massage (Thanks, Aimee) and then came back to my mom's and proceded to finish my laundry. Well, all is well, until I get ready to leave. I fold the laundry, put it in the hamper, grab my keys and purse and MY cigarettes off the table and head out the door. My oldest brother follows me and tries, to the best of his efforts, to get me to give him some cigarettes and then I pull out of the driveway. Now, when my oldest brother first came in, I had given him one cigarette, and then he thew my pack back on the table next to my mom's purse. When I went outside to smoke, I grabbed my pack, counted them(had 12) not including the one I had just taken out. I had my purse on my shoulder and walked outside to watch the dogs devour a t-bone. I set my pack and purse on the outside table. Remind you, my pack wasn't in my purse. It was simply beside my purse. When I got ready to leave, I put everything in the car and left. I get home and pull into my driveway when my phone rings....
Mom: "Meghan!" "You took my pack of cigarettes!"
Me:"No, I didn't. I have one pack of cigarettes and it has 12 in it."
Mom:"Well, I had just opened my pack and smoked only one out of it."
Me:"Then you would have 19 cigarettes and not the 12 that I have."
Mom:"I know that Meghan. My pack was on the table, beside my purse before you left and now it's not."
Me:"Joey sat my pack beside your purse, you need to look again."
Mom:"Your pack was in your purse....
Me:"Yea, until Joey took it out and then threw the pack on the table beside your purse."
Mom:"Then you have 2 packs of cigarettes."
Me:"No, I'm looking right now, as I'm driving down the road, I only have one pack and it has 12 cigarettes in it."
Mom:"Then I guess mine just got up and walked off....."
Me:"Either that or you lost them.....do you want me to drive all the way back to the house to show you that I have ONE pack of cigarettes and it only has 12 in it?"
Mom:"No, I want to know where you put mine."
Me:"I didn't put yours anywhere, I have ONE pack, and have not touched another one.
Mom:"Fine, I guess they just disappeared, click....
--first off, I hate being hung up on. Second, I hate it even worse when it comes from my mother. I can't believe she fuckin' hung up on me! I don't now, nor did I ever have her damn cigarettes. I swear, that woman is gong to be the death of me. All the pills in the world couldn't help her remember shit! Here's to pills, 40-somethings, and finding that ever so illusive pack of cigarettes, may the best hunter win......

My Birthday

September 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet.Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings.You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments.You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action.
Your strength: Your vivid imagination
Your weakness: Fear of failure
Your power color: Coral
Your power symbol: Oval
Your power month: November
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Days Of Our Lives.......

slowly creep past us, and we continue to wonder what could've been, and what we could've done to make it be. People are far less apt these days to admit wrong doing, lies, infidelity, love, or anything else that could cause hurt. What happened to the easy times when love was easy and everyone got along. Everyday we see t.v. programs, friends, and family go through the motions of hurt and stress. Whether the cause be money, jobs, co-workers, loved ones, or friends. Struggling mentally, physically, and financially has become the "american way" and nothing is ever done to make it better. I know nothing in this world comes easy, but can't we make it a little bit easier? Everyone worries about money, bills, kids, and love. Those 4 things will never be forgotten. No matter age, race, gender, or nationality these worries float around all over the world. Not one person on this earth can say they don't worry about it. You can have all the money in the world and being the loneliest person on this earth. Money doesn't buy happiness. The best things in life might not be free but they sure are cheap. Like sunshine, blue skies, swimming pools and lemonade, your family and your health. If everything in this life was free, nobody would want or need. We wouldn't turn the t.v. on at night and see robbery, murders, kidnappings, or anything else for that matter. Why can't life be as easy as it was when I was 10, playing softball, no boys to be bothered with, and no money worries. I sometimes wish I could go back and do it all over again. I grew up way too fast, and honestly, playing in the adult world isn't as fun or exciting as I thought it would be. I'm stressed, stretched then, and it seems like I'm running out of options quicker than I can think of them. I feel as though I'm the sand in an hourglass and I'm almost out for the count..........oh, if only all the "if onlys" in the world came true......

Blogged........

Fighting tooth and nail to convince someone they are screwing up is not clingy. There has not been anything a marriage cannot bear if two people try. I know she's tried but I can tell she's not "all there" in our relationship. I catch her lying to me every week. Treating me badly is not a a way to save our marriage. If she feels backed in a corner from me trying to convince her to come back it's because she don't want to come back. Don't you think I know that? Do you think that I will listen to you when you betray our marriage? I call her and e-mail her to talk. It's none of your business. When you know everything about us it's because she shares it with a teenager. It makes me sick. You have this imaginary picture of yourself with your insight into the minds of people that is flawed. Love does conquer all... You don't have a clue what you would do if you loved someone as I do and they treated you like that. Good riddance to you and Joel. You are both out of my life forever.

Blog that

Chunk Muffin: Take 2

The stories of the younger brother continue. It seems, that the baby brother is more like his big sister than he realizes. He's cute, he's little, and he can't, for the life of him, shut his mouth. I'm at Mom's again, when I see another "To the Parents Of" letter on the table. I immediately knew which sibling it was for. My mom says "Don't open it, cause your not blogging it." I, being the good child I am, open it. It seems this time the baby brother was talking crap to the teacher. Here goes:
The letter:"Tyler would not follow instructions, when I told him to sit down and get his work out, instead he started rummaging through the stuff on my desk and ignored me. I told him again to sit down, and he looked at me and said:
Tyler:"Your crazy!"
The Letter:"and then sat down and started working on the sucker.
I shit you not, the write up says: "he sat down and started working on the sucker."
Ok, I'm not sure which or what sucker the teacher is talking about, but knowing my little brother, it's a piece of candy he stole while rummaging through her desk. So, I'm sure tonight I'll have to find out why he was going through her desk and exactly what "sucker" she is talking about. He had ALC (alternative learning center), which is basically in school suspenion, yesterday for the "chunk muffin" comment. I'm sure he'll be back in there again for pilaging the desk and stealing suckers. Jesus, what is this world coming to? I can only imagine what will happen when he gets into high school. Here's to Tyler, may you never realize where you get your attitude and smart mouth from........

Press 1 For Assistance.........

that's the story of my life these days. Somehow I've mangaged to work myself into this big hole of financial debt. Don't ask me how it started or what the hell I did, or didn't do, because I honestly don't know. I worked myself into this, and I will work myself out of it. I am reluctant to accept help from anyone, because I don't like to lean on others for help. I've always been a strong willed and minded person, I will refuse help until the very end. My friends, family, and co-workers didn't help incurring this debt, and they shouldn't have to help me get out of it. All I need from them is a hug, laugh, and an occasional mixed drink from some gentlemen at the bar. By the way guys, thanks! That drink couldn't have come any faster or at a better time. I appreciate all the advice and lecturing and from now on, will think twice about that grande caramel frappuchino that I love so much. Until then, atleast I have toilet paper and shampoo. I will forever be in debt to my Grandpa Charlie. He's helped me beyond belief when he could have just turned his back and told me to suck it up. Just like a good friend of mine once said; "Bills are just bills, you have the rest of your life to pay them off. You have your health and your family, and thats all you need!" Thanks guys, I know you all love me............

Pygmy.....

an offensive term for somebody who is of shorter than average height. I can only imagine the jokes and comments to be left on this one. This concludes today's lesson....tune in tomorrow for more on "What The World Needs to Know"..................

Chick-Chick Fries and Chunk Muffins

From the minute my baby brother was born, he was doomed to be just like me. The looks, the stature, the witty smart ass attitude. In all his twelve years, I have come a long way in teaching him the trade of "Meghan". He's done a damn good job at catching on and sometimes even surprises the hell out of me when I hear him say something, that I've never even thought of. My mother, god bless her, has done everything in her power to stop this "teaching of the ways". Anyone that knows me, or my family, also knows that we're funny as hell and the biggest bunch of smart-asses that you'll meet. Last night, I stop by my mother's house on my way home from work, and go about fixing hair and make-up(cause I had a hot date), and listening to my brothers agrue over who was the biggest loser. My date called and said that he was home and would leave the door unlocked, so I could get in, and that he was getting in the shower. I told him I'd be over there in a minute. I finish my hair and listen to my oldest brother drill me with 20 questions on where I am going, and am just about to walk out the door. I reach onto the dining room table to get my car keys and cigarettes, when I see it. The dreaded yellow piece of paper from the school....doo doo doo doo.....someone's in trouble. I've always been involved in my little brother and sister's lives, as much as they hate it. I'm quick to tell them when they're fucking up and when they need to put forth some effort in something. I pick up the write up slip and I'm not half way through it, when my little brother runs and locks himself in the bathroom. Now I know he fucked up. I keep reading and find out why he got wrote up. At this point I'm laughing so hard, that I'm crying. I couldn't yell at him right now if I wanted to. Here goes:
Me:"Tyler, unlock the door."
Tyler:"No, what do you want? I'm taking a bath."
Me:"Your not taking a bath, the water isn't running! Open the door."
Tyler:"What?!"
now mind you, I'm laughing so hard my stomach is hurting and trying to yell at him
Me:"Who did you call a "doughnut chunk muffin?"
Tyler names some kid in his class......
Me:"Why? What did he do?"
Tyler:"He's fat and slow....."
Me(trying to catch my breath) Tyler, you can't call people names."
Tyler:"He's mean to me and he's a fat ass."
Me:"Ok, give me a high-five, cause that shit was pretty funny, but quit calling people names. I'll beat your ass if I hear it again."
Tyler:"Whatever Mae-Mae, your laughing."
Me:"Just because I'm laughing, that doesn't make it right.:
Tyler:"Whatever."
Me:"Alright, I'm leaving. Get your ass in the shower and get your homework done."
Tyler:"Ok, loser." (hehehe)
Me:"I'm not playing with you. I'm calling mom."
Tyler:"Call her, she doesn't scare me."
*-* He's right, Mom, you quit scaring us a long time ago, but everyone knows that I still scare the bejesus out of him.*-* So, I ran towards him really quick, grabbed and shoved him into the shower and turned on the cold water. Now, he has no choice but to take a bath since he's already in there. A little sisterly love never hurt anyone. I get in my car and get to my dates' house and call my mother..here's that one
Me:"Mom, is Tyler grounded?"
Mom:"No, why?"
Me:"I read his write up and that shit is funny."
Mom:"Meghan Elise, you better not have laughed at him!"
Me:"I did, and I gave him a high five."
Mom:" All three of you have laughed at him now. He needs to know that he can't act like that and he needs to shut his mouth."
--when she says "all three of you" she's referring to me and my two other siblings--
Me:"You can't be a member of our family and shut your mouth. It just doesn't work." "But you have to give it to him, that was pretty funny." "I haven't even thought of that, and I call everyone "muffin"!
Mom:"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?"
Me:"I'm at his house right now, why?"
Mom:"Then why are you on the phone with me?"
Me:"I don't know. I'll call you later."
Mom" Love you bye."
Me:"Love you bye."

All in all, my family pretty much agrees we're hilarious. The Osbournes don't hold a candle to us, and we're damn proud of it.........

Out of The Mouths of Babes.....

I love my god-daughter more than anything in this world. I have been there since she was born, and would do anything for her. We've spent countless nights asleep on the couch together with her curled on my chest. I've spent many, many nights with her wrapped in a blanket, in my arms, walking in a circle outside because she liked to see the stars as she fell asleep. She is the greatest thing on earth. Here recently, I've started a new job in Houston and haven't been able to see her as much. I called Jessica (my god-daughter baby mama) to see if I could pick Ashlyne (god daughter) up and take her with me for awhile. Jessica, of course, didn't have a problem with it because she knows that I would never let anything happen to Ashlyne, and she probably needed some time alone. I get to Jessica's house last night, after work, and go inside. Now, since the day Ashlyne was born she has been trained and coached to call me "Aunt Mae-Mae". My family, close-friends, and just about everyone else have called me Mae-Mae since I can remember. When Ashlyne first started talking, she called me "Mae". That was ok with me because we were only one "mae" away from being "mae-mae". Here goes the rest....
Jessica:"Ashlyne, Aunt Mae-Mae is here."
Me:"Why is she being so quiet? She usually runs outside to meet me."
Jessica:"She might be asleep, go check.."
...walking quietly into the little room of Winnie the Pooh that I love so much....
Me:"Hey Punkin, wake up." "You wanna go get some chick-chick fries?"
Ashlyne:"Hey Meggie, I missed you."
Once again, anyone that knows me, knows how much that name repulses me. I get an image of some little rich, snotty looking preppy slut, and it all goes downhill from there. I can not stand to be called that. Jessica is laughing so hard she is crying, and I'm so shocked I have nothing to say.....
Jessica:"I have no clue where she got that. I've always called you Mae Mae in front of her."
Me:"Ashlyne, my name is Aunt Mae Mae."
Ashlyne:"Uh huh, Meggie."
..this goes on for about 20 minutes and I finally give up, because like her mother and god-mother she is stubborn as hell and when she sets her mind on something, it's not changing...I go and put her car seat in my car and we head to McDonalds to get chicken nugget happy meals, or as Ashlyne calls them, "chick-chick fries".....
After waiting in line at the house of childhood horrors, we get back to my apartment and I set Ashlyne at the table and go about cleaning up while she eats. About 10 minutes goes by and I hear...
Ashlyne:"Meggie, ketchup."
Me:"Punkin, my name is Mae-Mae"
Ashlyne:"OK Meggie, ketchup."
Fine, I will give in to her and let her call me whatever she wants because 1)she's two. 2)she's my god-daughter and 3) she's just so damn cute
I sit down to eat with her and she says "Meggie, watch Thomas." She's talking about her Thomas the Tank movie. I figure I can put this movie on, settle her in, and get a good 30 minutes to clean the rest of my house.....WRONG!
Ashlyne:"Meggie, watch Thomas me."
Me:"Baby, I'll watch in a minute. I'm cleaning."
Ashlyne:(with the pouty lip) "pleeeeeease."
Me:"Ok, I'll watch."
So I sit down on the couch and she curls up on my chest, just like she did when she was 6 months old, and we watch Thomas. I came to the sad realization that my life had come to eating happy meals, watching Thomas the Tank, and being called Meggie.......

Nazi Love Puppet....

is exactly what my next boyfriend will be. Someone that'll let me do anything I want to them and continue to feel the same for Hitler at the same time. Anyone got any ideas?

Valley Of the Dogs

Thats where Past's girlfriend came from. It's on the map somewhere between "white trash bimbo" and "whore".....

Herpes Simplex Three.....

I could make a really bad and tasteless joke including my ex and his new girlfriend, but I'm not going to. For the first time in my life, I am keeping my mouth shut. See...I am growing up! Mommy, WOW! I'm a big kid now...........

It's Like Toby Said.......

How do you like me now? Now that I've gotten everything from Josh that I will ever need or want, NOTHING! I'm through with his bullshit "I love yous" and "I miss yous" and the bullshit "we were meant to be together". I've put myself through hell and back in my mind trying to figure out where we went wrong, if I wanted him back, if I needed him back, or if I even had the strenght to do it all again. The answer to all of these questions, is so simple now, FUCK NO. From day one he has done nothing but cause heartache and misery. He's damn good at telling people what they want to hear, I'll give him that, but he's not too smart when it comes to playing his own games. It's pretty damn hard to run back and forth between two women, when they talk to each other and know your every move. Yet, he goes on like he's the smartest thing since sliced bread. Well, I've officially taken myself out of the game. I'm not even riding the bench, I quit. I grabbed all my "gear" and left. I've been putting up with his ass for almost three years now, and I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of the sleepless nights, the never ending phone calls, questioning and blaming myself for his mistakes, letting him still have control over me and my life. For the life of me, I can't remember why I let him have so much control over me. I honestly used to think that I loved him. Now, I'm not sure I even know what love is. I'm not sure anybody does anymore. It's sad how some things, like love, are supposed to be the best thing on earth. Someone to share your life with, the ups and downs and in betweens, and then people get it all wrong and fuck everything up. I don't believe in love, I honestly doubt there is such a thing anymore. "I love you" is supposed to have meaning, feeling, and be an expression of your "love" for that one person, people these days don't know what it is anymore, and say it to anyone that will listen. We often get love and lust confused. I know now, that I didn't love Josh. I was just caught up in the moment. I hope in all his "growing up" that he needs to do, he finds the true meaning of love. That he quits saying it to any girl that will look at him, or let him move in. I don't need him, I never really did. I take the blame for letting myself get caught up in him again, if even for one night, but all in all, I'm more pissed off and disappointed in myself. I knew then, just like I know now, that Josh will never be good for anything. So, from here on out, I'm ridding myself of all things evil: JOSHUA BLAKE SMITH. Past, you are officially off my list of things to "do" or "work on". It's kinda sad that things had to go this way, deep down I think he is a good person........hah who am I kidding. I look at this at one more chapter in my book of life closed. I learned a lot from our relationship, and I will continue to work on those things, just not with him. There is no hope for that boy, he is the spawn of satan. Anyhow, here's to the next mistake and lesson learned.........