Tuesday, November 29, 2005
To: Meghan Lyons
Subject: RE: i dont want bad luck (too late)
Date: Thu, 24 Nov 2005
i know you dont ever want to hear from me but i am sorry to hear what happened to you. and i apologize for ever hurting you. you are a good person and you didnt deserve that. i could never prove to you how sorry i really am. i hope you continue to better youself in all ways including losing him, as much as it may have hurt you are too good for him and you never should have had to deal with any of that crap. once again i really am sorry. if you ever decide to change your mind about giving me another chance at friendship give me a call at (number deleted by blog administrator, for the sake of being the bigger person) i dont expect your but i do hope for it daily. good luck and goodbye
racheal megan mcdaniel
I'd really like to know what you think "happened to me" because I'm sure whatever you've heard isn't the truth. I kicked Josh out 6 months ago because he wouldn't get a job and was addicted to coke. Josh and I are still friends and are on good terms with one another...I still talk to his family and him on a regular basis. I know about the times he cheated on me and we've dealt with that. I'm totally fine with the way things turned out between us and in no way hurt about it. I'd like to hear what you've heard though.
** see, I wasn't near as mean as I could have been....
I was told that he did you really wrong somehow and was addicted to meth. he was supposedly really controlling and cheated on you on a regular basis. you knew about it but he wouldnt let you leave or something well whatever happened i am glad you didnt get hurt from all of it and i wish you the best. i am sorry for all i ever did to you and hope you will forgive me. you will always be one of the best friends i ever had. i am living back at my moms now because the army kicked me out. i spent 5 months in basic training and it made me grow up and realize all i have done. i dont have a phone hear but i usually find a phone to use at some point during the day. if you dont hate me too bad then give me a number and we could atleast talk even if it is just to hear what i have heard although i would rather it be for some type of friendship. e-mail me back if you get the chance. see ya later
He was addicted to meth, he was controlling, he was NOT cheating on me on a regular basis, all though he did cheat on me with YOU, sarah, and another Megan. I have no harsh feelings towards him or anyone else that he associates with. I don't want to drag up everything about josh and I that I have worked so hard for the last 6 months to put behind me. He really hurt me and it still hurts to this day, but I've come a long way in not letting him bother me anymore. I hope you can understand what I mean when I say that there will never be a "friendship" between us again. You represent a part of my life that I try harder and harder everyday to forget. You, Josh, and anyone else that I used to talk to from that crowd are apart of my past, and I don't want to keep bringing it up. I couldn't ever look at you the same way, knowing that you royally fucked me over. I'm doing good now, I have my own house, I have a great job, and a brand new car, and I am very happy, just know that I have no hard feelings towards you or your sister, but I can't be around someone that fucked me over or was associated with the "josh" part of my life. All that is over now, and I don't want to remember it everytime I look at a "friend". Good luck in life and all you do.
** once again, I could have been really really mean! The bitch slept with my boyfriend!
you have only heard one side of the story and this will be the last e-mail if that is what you wish. yes i sleep with josh not while you were together i told him to get back with you. i did not sleep with any of his friends so i am lost on that one. i did kiss chris and i did kiss jd i did not sleep with any of his friends. he broke up with you on his own and that was when we slept together. he said you guys were totally through and after his short comings i told him to get back with you. i dont want anything to do with him. i dont remember what all the rest of that said but i am very for you and your knew life i am glad you could rise above it all. goodbye
so just because she slept with him and he didn't measure up to her whore ass expectations, she sent him back to me, because God knows it was that decision right there that would have made or broke mine and Past's relationship. Who are you kidding bitch? You were just another notch on his belt, at least I got almost 3 years out of him! Ha, you got 2.5 min!
Monday, November 28, 2005
1.He was addicted to meth/anything you put in front of his nose
2.He was controlling
3.He cheated on me on a regular basis
4. He was abusive both physically and mentally
5. I wasn't allowed out without him
Whoever is telling her this crap, which I'm guessing is Past's friend whom she slept with too, told her mostly true things, other than number 3. Yes, he did cheat on me but it wasn't on a regular basis. I sent her another email and told her that if she wanted to read all the happenings of mine and Pasts' relationship, and get the truth, she could visit my website. Am I wrong for not wanting to be "friends" with someone that slept with my ex while we were very much together, and that I couldn't trust from the beginning? No, didn't think so. I'm very happy with my life now, and she represents a part of my life that I try harder and harder to forget everyday. I don't want to be associated with anyone that I used to hang out with in that crowd and I damn sure don't want to talk to anyone that still associates with Past. I had a run-in with Past last night. He was at my apartment complex, talking to a friend, but strangely parked in front of my house. I was with another friend, who happens to be in the male species. Well, true to "Past form" he got a little hurt and I had all the satisfaction in the world knowing that it was killing him to see me get in some other guys vehicle, laughing, and drive-off. Its times like those when I wish I had a camera. He still has a girlfriend, and I still don't want him back, so he can get off whatever stalker trip he's on and get over himself, because he's really not all he's cracked up to be. I hope when the so called "friend" reads this, she prints it out and shows it to him. How funny is that? Why in hell would I want to be friends with someone like her? She's a lying, manipulative, front-stabbing, homewrecker. I don't blame her entirely for sleeping with him, because it was apparently her life long fantasy, but was it what you always expected? HELL NO!!! haha Past is pretty much "short" if you know what I mean, and I know she got nothing out of it, so really, I could care less. Now, if I can get her to stop e-mailing me, we'll be doing even better than before......
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
- I have uneven ears.
- I'm deathly afraid of cemetaries.
- I still sleep with a night-light.
- I want my Mommy when I'm sick.
- Sometimes I scream for no reason.
- My cat hates me.
- My friends think I'm completly nuts, but so are they!
- I cried when I moved out on my own.
- I write poetry.
- My favorite color is pink.
- I'm afraid of falling absolutely, completely, and utterly in love.
- I hate being alone.
- I can cry on command.(comes in handy when dealing with the ex).
- I live in complete chaos, because I wouldn't have it any other way.
- I'm unpredictable
- I'm unstable
- I'm a force to be reckoned with
- I'm only 5'0
- I still fit in my 12 year old brother's shoes
- I can't stand my family for more than 30 minutes at a time.
- I've fantisized about killing someone with a stilletto shoe.
- I still wonder whether God is real or not.
- I refuse to believe that the virgin Mary is a "virgin"
- I believe in following your dreams(unless they're deadly)
- I can't tell you my natural hair color anymore, I have to refer to pictures.
- I've been to Cancun
- My little brother looks exactly like me
- I wish on falling stars
- I once laughed so hard I made myself puke
- I laugh out loud at random times, for nothing in particular
- I'm a self-diagnosed lunatic
- I will kill deer, just not any other animal, because anything else is just cruel
- I don't have a birthmark
- I can mimick any foreigner (especially Chinese, Vietnemese, or any other "ese")
- I hate my evil "step-thing" (Dad's new thing)
- I get really loud and funny when I'm drinking
- I can dance to anything on the radio
- My car is a disaster area because I refuse to clean it
- My house smells like warm vanilla sugar and cinnamon buns
- I smoke all day long
- I need music and a notebook to get me out of a bad mood
- When I'm sad I eat starbursts and write in my journal
- I cry when I feel I've let myself down
- I hate my last name
- My cell phone is my life-line
- I dip Nestle Crunch bars in my hot chocolate
- I still drink apple juice every night before bed
- My bathroom is done in rubber duckies
- I don't have one friend below the age of 23
- Before I die, I will visit Paris
- Cupid works for the devil.
- Be suspicious if ANY man cries.
- Sex is usually good, but it ain't always right.
- Chocolate is a band-aid no matter what anyone says.
- Shoes won't ever stretch.
- MEN DON'T CHANGE!
I need my jammies, a pint of ice cream, a vicodan, and the t.v. remote and I'd be set. I feel like I've been run over by a dump truck and then backed over, just for good measure. PMS IS THE BEST!!! Ha, I should rewind time and beat the hell out of Adam.....see our problems began with me, and I've got a feeling they'll end that way too!
Monday, November 21, 2005
Past:"You win, you sneaky little bitch."
Me:"What did you call me? What did I win?"
Past:"You and my mother both are sneaky little bitches, and you win the war, me and Heather broke up."
Me:"What's your point?"
Past:"Isn't that what you wanted?"
Me:"No, I really didn't care either way. I just liked pissing her off, and making your life a living hell like you did to me."
Past:"Where are you?"
Me:"What day is it?"
Past:"Sunday, your at your mothers."
Me:"Ding, Ding, Johnny! Tell 'em what he wins"
Past:"When are you going to your house?"
Me:"Why? You think since ya'll broke up you can run back to me, just like that?"
Past:"You know I love you, and didn't want to be with her."
Me:"We'll talk about this later. I'm on my way home, so meet me there."
*-* To make a long, and repetitive story, really short. He came over, we talked, he "said" he hated her, she was dumb as a box of rocks, and he wasn't going back. I'm very cautious with my feelings, and heart towards him. My heart has been ripped out, walked on, and band-aided back together many, many times in the 2 and a half years "we" were. We've been going back and forth for the last 6 months with each other. My feelings have changed drastically towards Past in the last 2 months. I know now, I don't need him. I never NEEDED him. It wasn't love, it was companionship. I highly doubt myself when it comes to love. I believe nobody on this earth knows the true meaning. I believe you can find that one special person and be with them for the rest of your life and be happy, but love was made up by Hallmark and candy companies for Valentines Day. Anywho.....::Fast forward to last-night:: I get another phone call from, none other than the highly illusive and pesterious Past;
Me:"Hey yourself,jackass, what do you want this time?"
Past:"What in the hell got into you?"
Me:"Not you!!!" hahahah laughing my ass off at that one!
Past:"I know that. Why the attitude?"
Me:"Everytime I see one of your many phone numbers on my phone, I get the urge to puke and my head starts pounding. My ears turn off, because all I hear are lies, bullshit, and empty promises."
Past:"Sounds like you figured me out."
Me:"A long time ago......where are you calling from now?" Jail? Rehab?"
Past:"No, smartass. I'm at work?"
Me: haha(laughing my ass off again) your funny. Seriously, where are you?"
Past:"Damnit Meghan, why can't you be serious?"
Me:"There is NO serious between you and I any longer. I'm glad to hear you are working, though."
Me:"How long will this job last?"
Past:"They're saying a couple months, but you know how this goes." I could be home tomorrow."
Me:"I know." "How's the "new thing"?
Past:"You know her name, Meghan, and I don't know how she is because I haven't talked to her yet."
Me:"Such a healthy relationship you have going there. Get in from work and call the ex, before you call the new one." Nice!"
Past:"I'm in Huntsville. Are you going to come up for a weekend?"
(once again, I find this hilariously funny)
Me:"Let me call "her" and I'll see if thats ok with her."
Past:"You always come up and see me, when I'm working."
Me:"Yea, when we were TO-GET-HER, we're not anymore, and no, I'm not coming to see you."
Past:"It's not the same, Meghan. You took care of me. You cooked, cleaned, washed the clothes.
Me:"Well, love is blind and little did I know, you were just another dead end road paved with pretty lies and broken dreams."
(he gets really mad and starts yelling here)
Past:" DAMNIT MEGHAN. ALL I EVER DO IS TRY AND GET US BACK TOGETHER. YOU WANTED ME TO WORK, SO I'M WORKING. YOU WANTED ME TO QUIT DOING DRUGS, SO I QUIT DOING DRUGS. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?"
Me:"I want you to lower your voice, and speak to me in a calm, adult manner."
Past:"Ok, I'm sorry."
Me:"I know you are, now apologize!" Ok, Ok.....I'll quit being a smartass. I just find it extremely funny that you are "trying" to get us back together when you have a fucking girlfriend, and have since I kicked your ass out 6 months ago! Your not working on a god-damned thing, other than another dead end relationship." "I refuse to come see you, talk to you, e-mail you, or have anyother form of communication with you until you are single, have had a job for more than 6 months, and live in your own house." "I have no need for someone that works and makes as much as you do and has not a damn thing to show for it. It's all one big circle with you. Work, spend everything you make, get laid off, lay up for a year, work, spend all you have.... are you catching on here?"
Past:"I know, Meghan. I'm trying to do better."
Me:"Well, try harder. I can't help you anymore. I have to go."
Past:"Your really not going to come up here are you?"
(he gets really quiet and all sad sounding)
Me:"No, I'm not."
Past:"Ok, I guess I'll let you go now."
Me:"You need to, it's not healthy to hang on like you have."
Past:"Shut up, you know what I mean."
Me:"Yea, I mean what you know." Past.......I don't even know what to say to you anymore, it hurts me that we're not "us" anymore, but I'm at the point with you now, that I really dont' care if I don't see you again. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. I've never lied to you, and I'm not going to start now."
Past:"Quit calling me that." I know everytime I call you, you get upset and nothing ever works out like I want it to, so I'll hang up now, and that'll be it. I won't bother you anymore. I figured it was worth a shot to ask anyway."
Me:"Ok, be good and maybe we'll see each other sometime."
Past:"Bye Meghan, I love you."
***I hung up, and just sat there. A big part of me wanted to call him back and tell him I'd be there, but a bigger part of me kept saying "let it go, Meghan, he's just trying to get to you to see if he still has control over you." The weird part was, that voice in my head, sounded a lot like a good friend of mine; Hi, Train! Well, guess what mother fucker, the only control you have over anyone is that tramp ass girlfriend you have!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
Mom: "Meghan!" "You took my pack of cigarettes!"
Me:"No, I didn't. I have one pack of cigarettes and it has 12 in it."
Mom:"Well, I had just opened my pack and smoked only one out of it."
Me:"Then you would have 19 cigarettes and not the 12 that I have."
Mom:"I know that Meghan. My pack was on the table, beside my purse before you left and now it's not."
Me:"Joey sat my pack beside your purse, you need to look again."
Mom:"Your pack was in your purse....
Me:"Yea, until Joey took it out and then threw the pack on the table beside your purse."
Mom:"Then you have 2 packs of cigarettes."
Me:"No, I'm looking right now, as I'm driving down the road, I only have one pack and it has 12 cigarettes in it."
Mom:"Then I guess mine just got up and walked off....."
Me:"Either that or you lost them.....do you want me to drive all the way back to the house to show you that I have ONE pack of cigarettes and it only has 12 in it?"
Mom:"No, I want to know where you put mine."
Me:"I didn't put yours anywhere, I have ONE pack, and have not touched another one.
Mom:"Fine, I guess they just disappeared, click....
--first off, I hate being hung up on. Second, I hate it even worse when it comes from my mother. I can't believe she fuckin' hung up on me! I don't now, nor did I ever have her damn cigarettes. I swear, that woman is gong to be the death of me. All the pills in the world couldn't help her remember shit! Here's to pills, 40-somethings, and finding that ever so illusive pack of cigarettes, may the best hunter win......
You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet.Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings.You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments.You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action.
Your strength: Your vivid imagination
Your weakness: Fear of failure
Your power color: Coral
Your power symbol: Oval
Your power month: November
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
Friday, November 11, 2005
Thursday, November 10, 2005
The letter:"Tyler would not follow instructions, when I told him to sit down and get his work out, instead he started rummaging through the stuff on my desk and ignored me. I told him again to sit down, and he looked at me and said:
The Letter:"and then sat down and started working on the sucker.
I shit you not, the write up says: "he sat down and started working on the sucker."
Ok, I'm not sure which or what sucker the teacher is talking about, but knowing my little brother, it's a piece of candy he stole while rummaging through her desk. So, I'm sure tonight I'll have to find out why he was going through her desk and exactly what "sucker" she is talking about. He had ALC (alternative learning center), which is basically in school suspenion, yesterday for the "chunk muffin" comment. I'm sure he'll be back in there again for pilaging the desk and stealing suckers. Jesus, what is this world coming to? I can only imagine what will happen when he gets into high school. Here's to Tyler, may you never realize where you get your attitude and smart mouth from........
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Me:"Tyler, unlock the door."
Tyler:"No, what do you want? I'm taking a bath."
Me:"Your not taking a bath, the water isn't running! Open the door."
now mind you, I'm laughing so hard my stomach is hurting and trying to yell at him
Me:"Who did you call a "doughnut chunk muffin?"
Tyler names some kid in his class......
Me:"Why? What did he do?"
Tyler:"He's fat and slow....."
Me(trying to catch my breath) Tyler, you can't call people names."
Tyler:"He's mean to me and he's a fat ass."
Me:"Ok, give me a high-five, cause that shit was pretty funny, but quit calling people names. I'll beat your ass if I hear it again."
Tyler:"Whatever Mae-Mae, your laughing."
Me:"Just because I'm laughing, that doesn't make it right.:
Me:"Alright, I'm leaving. Get your ass in the shower and get your homework done."
Tyler:"Ok, loser." (hehehe)
Me:"I'm not playing with you. I'm calling mom."
Tyler:"Call her, she doesn't scare me."
*-* He's right, Mom, you quit scaring us a long time ago, but everyone knows that I still scare the bejesus out of him.*-* So, I ran towards him really quick, grabbed and shoved him into the shower and turned on the cold water. Now, he has no choice but to take a bath since he's already in there. A little sisterly love never hurt anyone. I get in my car and get to my dates' house and call my mother..here's that one
Me:"Mom, is Tyler grounded?"
Me:"I read his write up and that shit is funny."
Mom:"Meghan Elise, you better not have laughed at him!"
Me:"I did, and I gave him a high five."
Mom:" All three of you have laughed at him now. He needs to know that he can't act like that and he needs to shut his mouth."
--when she says "all three of you" she's referring to me and my two other siblings--
Me:"You can't be a member of our family and shut your mouth. It just doesn't work." "But you have to give it to him, that was pretty funny." "I haven't even thought of that, and I call everyone "muffin"!
Mom:"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?"
Me:"I'm at his house right now, why?"
Mom:"Then why are you on the phone with me?"
Me:"I don't know. I'll call you later."
Mom" Love you bye."
Me:"Love you bye."
All in all, my family pretty much agrees we're hilarious. The Osbournes don't hold a candle to us, and we're damn proud of it.........
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Jessica:"Ashlyne, Aunt Mae-Mae is here."
Me:"Why is she being so quiet? She usually runs outside to meet me."
Jessica:"She might be asleep, go check.."
...walking quietly into the little room of Winnie the Pooh that I love so much....
Me:"Hey Punkin, wake up." "You wanna go get some chick-chick fries?"
Ashlyne:"Hey Meggie, I missed you."
Once again, anyone that knows me, knows how much that name repulses me. I get an image of some little rich, snotty looking preppy slut, and it all goes downhill from there. I can not stand to be called that. Jessica is laughing so hard she is crying, and I'm so shocked I have nothing to say.....
Jessica:"I have no clue where she got that. I've always called you Mae Mae in front of her."
Me:"Ashlyne, my name is Aunt Mae Mae."
Ashlyne:"Uh huh, Meggie."
..this goes on for about 20 minutes and I finally give up, because like her mother and god-mother she is stubborn as hell and when she sets her mind on something, it's not changing...I go and put her car seat in my car and we head to McDonalds to get chicken nugget happy meals, or as Ashlyne calls them, "chick-chick fries".....
After waiting in line at the house of childhood horrors, we get back to my apartment and I set Ashlyne at the table and go about cleaning up while she eats. About 10 minutes goes by and I hear...
Me:"Punkin, my name is Mae-Mae"
Ashlyne:"OK Meggie, ketchup."
Fine, I will give in to her and let her call me whatever she wants because 1)she's two. 2)she's my god-daughter and 3) she's just so damn cute
I sit down to eat with her and she says "Meggie, watch Thomas." She's talking about her Thomas the Tank movie. I figure I can put this movie on, settle her in, and get a good 30 minutes to clean the rest of my house.....WRONG!
Ashlyne:"Meggie, watch Thomas me."
Me:"Baby, I'll watch in a minute. I'm cleaning."
Ashlyne:(with the pouty lip) "pleeeeeease."
Me:"Ok, I'll watch."
So I sit down on the couch and she curls up on my chest, just like she did when she was 6 months old, and we watch Thomas. I came to the sad realization that my life had come to eating happy meals, watching Thomas the Tank, and being called Meggie.......