Friday, December 23, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
|How You Life Your Life|
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
I went to a hip-hop club with a friend a few weeks ago, and pretty much everyone there was wearing the exact same thing. The guys ALL wore NY Yankees caps, to the side, a sweater, a coat, some "bling-bling" for good measure, and big pants. The girls all looked like a tit-less, ass-less version of Beyonce from one of her videos. I swear, it's like they went to K-Mart and bought "Hip-Hop in a Can" for $9.99 and popped it open....voila! I'm ghetto now! ...No you're not! The other thing that depressed me about this club was that no one really danced...they all "swayed" to the music, while holding cigarettes. In neatly arraigned lines. That's Japan for you.
Also, the DJ at one point screamed out "Everybody say HO!" and everyone just kind of stood there in confusion. As a music lover, but first and foremost as an English teacher, I had to fight the urge to rush up there, take the mike and yell "It's a command form! You're supposed to *do it*!"
So anyway, my bastard ninensei boys at the ghetto school have gotten caught up in the hip-hop craze. They wear big sweaters over their uniforms, and wear their pants around their thighs to simulate bagginess. They think they're the shit too, but when I look at them I just see kids who don't know how to wear pants. There's one ichinensei boy who is also a brat and idolizes these kids. He just sits in class and stares at me or the teacher, and if we try to give him work he swats it off his desk and laughs over how "cool" he is. One day I noticed something peculiar...his hair. Apparently, he wanted cornrows. But of course, he doesn't have the hair for cornrows. So he'd just shaved lines in his head to represent cornrows. I actually laughed quite a bit over this. And just in case you're thinking I was being a bit harsh, this kid is an absolute bastard so don't lose too much sleep over him.
This past week, one day in class the worst boy came over to me and wanted to talk. Ordinarily, I would have been happy to talk to him...if this wasn't in the middle of class. I told him to be quiet and go back to his seat. But he didn't care and pressed on. "Do you know Chingy? Chingy?" He asks. Some rapper or something, my idiot ex downloaded a song of his on my computer. Hey, I've been away for awhile, I have no idea who's in and who's not back in the states. "Yeah yeah, I know him, be quiet already." I say. The boy is highly pleased with this. "Of course you know Chingy, you're black!" Because, you know, all black people like rap and hip hop. Boy howdy, gimme some Chingy and some fried chicken, and I'll be one happy negro! *thumbs up*
I wish I could say it stopped there, but from that point forward, any time any ONE of the bad ninensei boys saw me they'd exclaim "You know Chingy? Chingy! You know his song?" Sigh. Friday was a holiday, but if I'd gone to school and heard "Chingy!" one more time, I think I seriously would've snapped and gone Tyler Durden/Fight Club on them. "You're not black. Listening to hip-hop will not make you black. Wearing bling-bling will not make you black. Wearing your pants around your ankles will not make you black. You're not your fucking MTV. You're a 14 year old Japanese schoolboy, and nobody thinks this is cool."
I don't even like Chingy
**this comes from a guy's website who teaches English to middle schoolers in Japan! I want his job...to check out the rest of the funny shit that happens to him, go to http://outpostnine.com/
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Don't think that no ones loved you,
because they've turned away.
Don't feel they didn't care for you,
because they couldn't stay.
Don't damn the world for not
returning the love you feel you've given.
Don't hate the one that you were yearning for,
because he couldn't make a commitment.
Just think of him as experience,
and think how much you've grown.
Think of him as the sacred prince
who placed you on a throne.
Think of all your times together,
feeling closer since you're apart.
Think of your plans of now and forever,
and hold them in your heart.
And don't let yourself feel so much hate
when he's no longer your other.
For when you're both at Heaven's gate,
that man will be your brother.
In death you lose your loved one's physical presence in both your present time and your future. But in the loss through breakup we haven't just lost one's physical presence in our lives, but their love, also. We experience grief over the loss of their mental, emotional, and spiritual presence, too, along with our own sense of value and self-worth, our pride, our ego, our dreams, our hopes, our security, and our feelings of being loved. We feel rejected, not good enough, not lovable, unwanted, and cast aside. We feel taken for granted and unappreciated for all we have done. We have gone from being everything to being nothing in a moment flat! But what kind of people would we be if we didn't grieve? Doesn't our grief stem from our having been loving, devoted, caring, committed, trusting and involved? Would we really want to be the type of person that is so cold, callous, without emotion, and self-centered that we could easily just dismiss such a breakup and walk away unscathed?..."
Past:"Why did you tell her that I called you while I was in Huntsville?"
Me:Hello, who is this?"
Past:"You know who this is..."
Me:"Listen mother fucker, if I knew who the hell was calling and waking me up at midnight I damn sure wouldn't have asked 'who is this' again."
Me:"I'm sleeping, I have to get up in 4 hours to go to work! I know you don't know what that means or grasp the concept of a job, but I do."
**I hung up on him and not two minutes later he calls back**
Past:"Answer my question Meghan"
Me:"You can't tell me what to do anymore. If you didn't want her to find out, then you shouldn't have called me. Since your "engaged" now, it's only best for the marriage that I tell her everything you do when she's not around."
Past:"Your screwing my relationship up."
Me:"What relationship? If all it takes is me calling and telling her some bullshit story to get her to dump your sorry ass, that's not a very strong and trusting relationship. Once again, I'm sleeping tell that bitch to quit calling me, because I DO NOT call her anymore, ya'll seem to make it a habit when the other's not around to call me and get shit started. Geez, Josh at least I trusted your stupid ass enough to let you go pee by yourself."
PastGirlfriend(in the background) "I'm not going to quit calling you"
Me:"Tell that skank ass whore of a girlfriend that you have if she calls me one more time, I'm filing harassment charges on both of you. I've told ya'll repeatedly to leave me out of your screwed up, no job having, drug addicted, lives. If you think your Mother won't back me on this 100% try me."
Past(yelling at the whore)" Shut up Heather, she isn't talking to you."
Me:"Put me on speaker phone."
Past:"You are, that's how she heard you."
Me:"Good, then I hope she's listening when I that this is the last god damned warning I will give either of you. Quit calling me when ya'll get fucked up and pissed off at each other, because I could care less about what's happening or why she kicked you out again. Your both on probation and if you think I won't call your probation officers, try me."
Past:"I just don't understand why you feel the need to tell her everytime I call you."
Me:"Did ya hear that tramp? He just admitted to calling me. This is the man that you want to marry!" "Good luck to both of you, I'm getting off the phone because you both are a waste of my time and life space all together."
**After I hung up this time, he didn't call back; but I did get a nice text message that said
"If you want us back together, you have to quit telling her everything." So, I did what any ex girlfriend that is trying her hardest to stay away from her ex, I forwarded to his girlfriend. I'm sure she'll want to marry him now. He honestly makes me sick, we have been going through this crap for the last 8 months and I'm sick of it. I don't call them, and they should not call me. Everytime they get drunk or high, they feel the need to call and start shit. Acting like I care about them or what's going on now. If I really wanted to get back at him, I could; but I'm not going to stoop to his level and act like a child.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Me:"Yea, what do you want?"
PastGirlfriend:"I need some advice."
Me:What did Past do now?"
PastGirlfriend:"Nothing, we got engaged, and I don't know if I should marry him or not."
Me:"I know I've always wanted to marry someone whose family hates me, can't support their child, can't hold a steady job, and is addicted to any type of drug you put in front of their face."
PastGirlfriend:"Yea, I was thinking about that. I don't know if I should go through with it or not."
Me:"I don't know why your calling me, because 1. I don't care if ya'll are engaged or not 2. I could give a shit less if you wanted my advice, because you don't listen anyway 3.Why in the hell are you calling me?"
PastGirlfriend:"Well, you dated him for almost 3 years, and he still talks to you, so I figured I would call and ask."
Me:"No, you called to try and start shit because you think I give a fuck about him still, and I don't. I told you a long time ago that I didn't and for both you of to stop calling me. Congratulations on the divorce, I've gotta go."
PastGirlfriend: "You think we'll get divorced?"
Me:"Once his mother finds out, you won't even be getting married. I have to go, I don't have time for the petty bullshit. I told you that I didn't give a fuck about either of you, and ya'll continue to call me, both of you calling me and telling me that ya'll got engaged is not going to hurt me, make me cry, or make me wish that I was still with him. All it is making me do is be very happy that you got what I didn't want anymore, and happier that I realized what a fuck up he is. I've never been happier in my life to know that I do not have to look or deal with someone again."
**I then hung up on her and went about my day. I didn't cry, or feel sad that they were engaged because honestly, I'm happier than ever that I don't have to put up with him anymore. About 5 or 6 hours went by and my phone rings again. It's none other than the screw up himself:
Past:"Do you know who this is?"
Me:"I'm guessing its the fuck up of my last ex boyfriend that can't hold a steady job or support his child, so he figured he would justify all that by getting engaged to some drug head tramp that his family hates."
Past:"Damnit Meghan, don't start please."
Me:"You called me, what do you need?"
Past:"What do you think about all this?"
Me:"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God?"
Past:"I've got a feeling that this isn't going to make me happy, but yea I do."
Me:"Ok, here goes; why in God's name would you want to marry some tramp that your family despises, when you have no job, are in debt up to your ears, can't support your child, whom should come before any piece of ass and free rent in this world, and when that tramp quit her part-time job because she couldn't trust you while you were "working". Do you realize in the last 2 years, you have worked 28 days! That's it, 28 freakin days, Josh. Your now even more in debt than you were before. You're avoiding your family because of it, and you refuse to leave that piece of trash you call a girlfriend, to do anything about it. You know your Mother hates her, and she will never be allowed nor welcomed in your family and she better not have dreams of becoming Brenton's step-mommie, because that damn sure will never happen." "Have you even told your Mother what you've gotten yourself into now?"
Past:"No, but I'm sure you will as soon as we hang up."
Me:"Your damn right I will. Do you realize how ridiculous you both are for calling your ex-girlfriend to get "advice" on what to do? I'm going to tell you just like I told that tramp, I could give a shit less what you're doing, where you're at, who you're with, or why you're doing it. I got over you a long time ago, and I told you both a long time ago to leave me out of whatever ya'll are doing. This isn't upsetting me or making me wish I had you back. This is pissing me off because ya'll won't leave me alone, and making me the happiest I've ever been for not having to deal with you or your problems."
Past:"I should've stayed with you, or gotten back with you a long time ago."
Me:"There was one point where I would've taken you back in a heartbeat, but everyday you continue to prove what a mess your life is and how you could careless about what happens in it."
Past:"I do care what happens to my life."
Me:"What about your son whose fixing to be sent to live in the depths of hell with your ex-wife because you can't pull your head out of your ass long enough to even pretend like you care. I know you love him, but you could atleast give a shit what happens to him."
Past:"I guess I was wrong in believing that if I called you, you would support me on this, but once again you've sided with my Mother."
Me:"Your damn right I have. You are fixing to make the biggest mistake of your life, and I'm not going to do a damn thing about it." "From day one, your family and I have been bailing you out of every damn situation you get youself into, and I'm sick of it. I thought when I kicked you out and you swore to me that I'd never see you again, that I'd be done with it. Damnit Josh, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you calling and disrupting me and my life, I'm sick of trying to talk some sense into that thick ass head of yours, and I'm sick of you treating me and your family like a sack of shit." "You go around doing whatever the hell you want, whenever you want, and expect us to stand by and what you screw up yet again." "We've tried every damn thing we know to keep you from screwing up, you've been given numerous opportunities to help yourself, and because it didn't benefit your habits or your penis, you walked away." "If you could move back in to your mother's and deal with no girlfriend, beer, or drugs for a couple months, you might realize what a mess your life is, but instead you'd rather run around like a drunken, unemployed wild child with a tramp ass girlfriend." You are the most selfish, ungrateful person I have ever met and for one in my life I'm glad to not be attached or associated with you."
Past:"Are you done yet?" " I knew when I called that you were going to yell at me, but I didn't think you would take it this far as to hurt my feelings."
Me:"I'm glad your feelings are hurt, think about all the other people's feelings you've hurt, and you never once gave a shit."
Past:"I do care, you know I care about you; I always did and always will."
Me:" I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ME YOU IDIOT, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR SON!"
Past:"Ok, I'm getting of the phone, I'm sure you need to call my mother anyway, and I'm tired of you yelling at me and putting me down."
Me:"Get used to it, because I have no respect for someone that doesn't take responsibilities for their actions, or their children, and can't hold a steady job because they'd rather party. Your grown Josh, it's time to start acting like it." "You always wonder why your Mother likes me and doesn't like Heather, lets compare her and I real quick. I have a full-time job, I have my own apartment, I pay numerous bills on my own, I'm paying off a brand new car, ON MY OWN, and I depend on not one person in this world to do all of that. Heather, on the other hand, quit her job to go watch over you while you worked, because she didn't trust you, lives with her best friend's parents, doesn't have a car because her license got suspended when she got a DWI, and is addicted to anything you put in front of her stupid ass." "Now, who do you think looks better in your Mother's eyes?"
Past:"You, but not everyone can be as perfect as you are."
Me:"I'm not perfect Josh, and I never said I was. I just realized early on that you can't depend on someone else for everything you need. I work for everything I have, and you have to keep working to acquire more, everyone has to grow up sometime, I just did it before you. When we first got together, your Mother didn't like me, and I didn't like her either, but instead of talking crap about one another like children, we were able to talk openly and honestly about everything. She told me what she wanted me to do and what I could do to earn her respect and approval, and I busted my ass to do that. I got a better job, a new apartment, and out of my mother's house."
Past:" I guess we all need to be more like you."
Me:"Ok, your missing the point. I didn't say everyone had to be like me, I said GROW UP AND QUIT DEPENDING ON EVERYONE ELSE TO BAIL YOUR ASS OUT OF EVERYTHING!"
Past:"I can tell your upset, so I'm getting off the phone for real this time. I'll quit calling you and leave you be with your life."
Me:You'll never leave me be, but I'd appreciate you telling your "girlfriend" or whatever she is, to quit calling me because I don't give a rat's ass about what ya'll are doing now. You don't need my approval to screw up again. Call your Mother, and let her know what your doing now."
Past:"I'm not calling her, you know you'll call her anyway."
Me:"No I'm not, it's not my job to report your every doing to her, and it's too late to call over there anyway." "I will be calling her tomorrow though."
Past:"Fine, ya'll always gang up against me anyway."
Me:"Well when you continue to screw up, someone's got to do it. I'll talk to you later."
**we get off the phone and I think about everything he's done since we've been apart, and I'm truly glad that my name's not attached to it. I don't regret being with him, I regret not getting away a lot sooner.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Me:"Knock, Knock Bob."
Bob:"Hey Meghan, what can I help you with?"
Me:"Human resources chick said that you had to sign off on this."
Bob:"Let me see what you have there."
(I hand him the letter, he reads, he looks up at me....)
Bob:Well, Meghan, are you sure you want to do this?"
Me:"Yes sir, I don't use the account other than to pay one bill."
Bob:"What can I do to stop this?"
Me:(smiling from ear to ear)"You can give me a raise and I'll direct deposit it all day long."
Bob:(he's laughing and grabbing a pen) "No, I'll sign it."
Me(thinking what a tight ass, I know if I was the President of a company and my employees wanted a raise, I'd give it to them) "Thank you."
Bob:"Your welcome, Meghan."
*~* It was well worth a shot, but in the end, I rebelled again and I won!!!! Hoo-Ride for Me!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
B: Birthday: September 29
C: Current Crush: too many
D: Favorite Drink: Monster Energy Drink and Malibu
E: Eating Currently: leftover lasagna
F: Favorite Food: Stuffed Shrimp from Giovanni's
G: Who Do You Go To For Advice: Mom, friends, tarot cards.....no particular order
H: Happy or Sad: Happy
I: I think: everyone should get away for a while
J: Job: Title Abstractor.
K: Any Kids: nope
L: I Love: sitting on the beach, by myself, and watching the sun go down over the water
M: Favorite Movie: Stephen King's Riding the Bullet
N: Your Phone Number: haha funny
O: One regret: Letting fear and past relationships hold me back
P: Favorite Perfume or Cologne: Victoria Secret's Amber Romance
Q: A Little Quirk About Yourself: I still sleep with a night light
R: Last Road Trip: 13 1/2 hours in the car with 2 dogs, 1 cat, 2 heathen kids, and a nagging mother to San Angelo
S: Tell Us One Secret: I'm afraid of falling completely, and utterly in love
T: Favorite TV Show: Gilmore Girls
U: Color of your Underwear: what underwear?
V: Last Time You Were in Vegas: Never been.
W: Wishful Thinking: Darren home for Christmas
X: X-Rays Taken This Year: None thank god
Y: Your Favorite Year of your Life: My 19th. I spent it in Cancun
Z: Zodiac Sign: Libra
Monday, December 05, 2005
- Birth Date: September 29
- Birth Location: Galveston, Tx
- Sun Sign: Libra
The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
Harmony and balance are your keynotes. You instinctively understand the need to accommodate other peoples' interests and desires, and you are always fair and willing to meet the other person half way. Tactful, diplomatic, and with considerable social awareness, you do all you can to avoid conflict and discord. You express a spirit of cooperation and compromise and often achieve through charm and discretion what would have been impossible to achieve by a direct, forceful approach.
Mental Interests and Abilities
One of your greatest assests is your ability to see both sides of an issue, and to negotiate and bring about compromise and reconciliation. Tactful, reasonable, and with considerable social finesse, you work well with people in business as well as in personal relationships. You are objective and somewhat detached from emotional bias, and make an excellent consultant, mediator, or public relations person. You insist upon fairness and seek to bring harmony or at least peaceful coexistence between people, and your diplomacy is a benefit in any business situation. You also have a fine aesthetic sensitivities and could work in an artistic or cultural environment.
Friday, December 02, 2005
It has to be YOUR way. When it isn't, you panic, but hold your ground. You keep your gun pointed and trigger finger ready, but you'd never really hurt anyone. Though you like being tough, feeling control, you often enjoy blending in and being part of the ordinary human race.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Me:"Eddie, I am so freakin' happy that you called."
Eddie:"Why? Whats wrong?"
Me:"I have having a horrible nightmare!" (and I go on to explain it to him)
Eddie"See, I knew you needed me, so I called."
Me:"Your the fuckin' greatest ever. I love you sooo much right now!"
Eddie"I know you do. How have you been doing, aside from the nightmares of getting killed?"
**we talk for about an hour, just catching up on the latest in each other's lives, because we haven't talked for about a month. After we got off the phone, I crawled back in bed and sent him a text message that said "It was really good to hear from you, you saved me tonight." It wasn't too long after I got back into bed, that I fell into a deep, undisturbed sleep. When I woke up this morning, and all day, I've had this feeling that something is really wrong. I can't figure out what, or who, or why.....it's just a feeling of uneasyness, unsure, and something really bad. I've been in a weird, cautious mood all day, like I'm waiting for the sky to fall or something. I thought I had figured it out when I almost got ran over this morning, but that wasn't it. I work in downtown Houston, and people here are a little less than genius drivers. I was crossing the street(the little walk man sign was on) when a man that had just turned the corner slammed his truck into reverse, and came barreling backwards right towards me. I just barely jumped onto the curb when he slammed on his brakes, inches from me. What did the asshole do? Rolled his window down, smiled, and waved; as if to say "Sorry 'bout that"........I have no idea why he was going backwards on a one way street in downtown Houston, but I wasn't sticking around to find out. Anywho......here's to Eddie and his impeccable timing last night....I love him so freakin' much......