Friday, December 23, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
|How You Life Your Life|
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
I went to a hip-hop club with a friend a few weeks ago, and pretty much everyone there was wearing the exact same thing. The guys ALL wore NY Yankees caps, to the side, a sweater, a coat, some "bling-bling" for good measure, and big pants. The girls all looked like a tit-less, ass-less version of Beyonce from one of her videos. I swear, it's like they went to K-Mart and bought "Hip-Hop in a Can" for $9.99 and popped it open....voila! I'm ghetto now! ...No you're not! The other thing that depressed me about this club was that no one really danced...they all "swayed" to the music, while holding cigarettes. In neatly arraigned lines. That's Japan for you.
Also, the DJ at one point screamed out "Everybody say HO!" and everyone just kind of stood there in confusion. As a music lover, but first and foremost as an English teacher, I had to fight the urge to rush up there, take the mike and yell "It's a command form! You're supposed to *do it*!"
So anyway, my bastard ninensei boys at the ghetto school have gotten caught up in the hip-hop craze. They wear big sweaters over their uniforms, and wear their pants around their thighs to simulate bagginess. They think they're the shit too, but when I look at them I just see kids who don't know how to wear pants. There's one ichinensei boy who is also a brat and idolizes these kids. He just sits in class and stares at me or the teacher, and if we try to give him work he swats it off his desk and laughs over how "cool" he is. One day I noticed something peculiar...his hair. Apparently, he wanted cornrows. But of course, he doesn't have the hair for cornrows. So he'd just shaved lines in his head to represent cornrows. I actually laughed quite a bit over this. And just in case you're thinking I was being a bit harsh, this kid is an absolute bastard so don't lose too much sleep over him.
This past week, one day in class the worst boy came over to me and wanted to talk. Ordinarily, I would have been happy to talk to him...if this wasn't in the middle of class. I told him to be quiet and go back to his seat. But he didn't care and pressed on. "Do you know Chingy? Chingy?" He asks. Some rapper or something, my idiot ex downloaded a song of his on my computer. Hey, I've been away for awhile, I have no idea who's in and who's not back in the states. "Yeah yeah, I know him, be quiet already." I say. The boy is highly pleased with this. "Of course you know Chingy, you're black!" Because, you know, all black people like rap and hip hop. Boy howdy, gimme some Chingy and some fried chicken, and I'll be one happy negro! *thumbs up*
I wish I could say it stopped there, but from that point forward, any time any ONE of the bad ninensei boys saw me they'd exclaim "You know Chingy? Chingy! You know his song?" Sigh. Friday was a holiday, but if I'd gone to school and heard "Chingy!" one more time, I think I seriously would've snapped and gone Tyler Durden/Fight Club on them. "You're not black. Listening to hip-hop will not make you black. Wearing bling-bling will not make you black. Wearing your pants around your ankles will not make you black. You're not your fucking MTV. You're a 14 year old Japanese schoolboy, and nobody thinks this is cool."
I don't even like Chingy
**this comes from a guy's website who teaches English to middle schoolers in Japan! I want his job...to check out the rest of the funny shit that happens to him, go to http://outpostnine.com/
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Don't think that no ones loved you,
because they've turned away.
Don't feel they didn't care for you,
because they couldn't stay.
Don't damn the world for not
returning the love you feel you've given.
Don't hate the one that you were yearning for,
because he couldn't make a commitment.
Just think of him as experience,
and think how much you've grown.
Think of him as the sacred prince
who placed you on a throne.
Think of all your times together,
feeling closer since you're apart.
Think of your plans of now and forever,
and hold them in your heart.
And don't let yourself feel so much hate
when he's no longer your other.
For when you're both at Heaven's gate,
that man will be your brother.
In death you lose your loved one's physical presence in both your present time and your future. But in the loss through breakup we haven't just lost one's physical presence in our lives, but their love, also. We experience grief over the loss of their mental, emotional, and spiritual presence, too, along with our own sense of value and self-worth, our pride, our ego, our dreams, our hopes, our security, and our feelings of being loved. We feel rejected, not good enough, not lovable, unwanted, and cast aside. We feel taken for granted and unappreciated for all we have done. We have gone from being everything to being nothing in a moment flat! But what kind of people would we be if we didn't grieve? Doesn't our grief stem from our having been loving, devoted, caring, committed, trusting and involved? Would we really want to be the type of person that is so cold, callous, without emotion, and self-centered that we could easily just dismiss such a breakup and walk away unscathed?..."
Past:"Why did you tell her that I called you while I was in Huntsville?"
Me:Hello, who is this?"
Past:"You know who this is..."
Me:"Listen mother fucker, if I knew who the hell was calling and waking me up at midnight I damn sure wouldn't have asked 'who is this' again."
Me:"I'm sleeping, I have to get up in 4 hours to go to work! I know you don't know what that means or grasp the concept of a job, but I do."
**I hung up on him and not two minutes later he calls back**
Past:"Answer my question Meghan"
Me:"You can't tell me what to do anymore. If you didn't want her to find out, then you shouldn't have called me. Since your "engaged" now, it's only best for the marriage that I tell her everything you do when she's not around."
Past:"Your screwing my relationship up."
Me:"What relationship? If all it takes is me calling and telling her some bullshit story to get her to dump your sorry ass, that's not a very strong and trusting relationship. Once again, I'm sleeping tell that bitch to quit calling me, because I DO NOT call her anymore, ya'll seem to make it a habit when the other's not around to call me and get shit started. Geez, Josh at least I trusted your stupid ass enough to let you go pee by yourself."
PastGirlfriend(in the background) "I'm not going to quit calling you"
Me:"Tell that skank ass whore of a girlfriend that you have if she calls me one more time, I'm filing harassment charges on both of you. I've told ya'll repeatedly to leave me out of your screwed up, no job having, drug addicted, lives. If you think your Mother won't back me on this 100% try me."
Past(yelling at the whore)" Shut up Heather, she isn't talking to you."
Me:"Put me on speaker phone."
Past:"You are, that's how she heard you."
Me:"Good, then I hope she's listening when I that this is the last god damned warning I will give either of you. Quit calling me when ya'll get fucked up and pissed off at each other, because I could care less about what's happening or why she kicked you out again. Your both on probation and if you think I won't call your probation officers, try me."
Past:"I just don't understand why you feel the need to tell her everytime I call you."
Me:"Did ya hear that tramp? He just admitted to calling me. This is the man that you want to marry!" "Good luck to both of you, I'm getting off the phone because you both are a waste of my time and life space all together."
**After I hung up this time, he didn't call back; but I did get a nice text message that said
"If you want us back together, you have to quit telling her everything." So, I did what any ex girlfriend that is trying her hardest to stay away from her ex, I forwarded to his girlfriend. I'm sure she'll want to marry him now. He honestly makes me sick, we have been going through this crap for the last 8 months and I'm sick of it. I don't call them, and they should not call me. Everytime they get drunk or high, they feel the need to call and start shit. Acting like I care about them or what's going on now. If I really wanted to get back at him, I could; but I'm not going to stoop to his level and act like a child.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Me:"Yea, what do you want?"
PastGirlfriend:"I need some advice."
Me:What did Past do now?"
PastGirlfriend:"Nothing, we got engaged, and I don't know if I should marry him or not."
Me:"I know I've always wanted to marry someone whose family hates me, can't support their child, can't hold a steady job, and is addicted to any type of drug you put in front of their face."
PastGirlfriend:"Yea, I was thinking about that. I don't know if I should go through with it or not."
Me:"I don't know why your calling me, because 1. I don't care if ya'll are engaged or not 2. I could give a shit less if you wanted my advice, because you don't listen anyway 3.Why in the hell are you calling me?"
PastGirlfriend:"Well, you dated him for almost 3 years, and he still talks to you, so I figured I would call and ask."
Me:"No, you called to try and start shit because you think I give a fuck about him still, and I don't. I told you a long time ago that I didn't and for both you of to stop calling me. Congratulations on the divorce, I've gotta go."
PastGirlfriend: "You think we'll get divorced?"
Me:"Once his mother finds out, you won't even be getting married. I have to go, I don't have time for the petty bullshit. I told you that I didn't give a fuck about either of you, and ya'll continue to call me, both of you calling me and telling me that ya'll got engaged is not going to hurt me, make me cry, or make me wish that I was still with him. All it is making me do is be very happy that you got what I didn't want anymore, and happier that I realized what a fuck up he is. I've never been happier in my life to know that I do not have to look or deal with someone again."
**I then hung up on her and went about my day. I didn't cry, or feel sad that they were engaged because honestly, I'm happier than ever that I don't have to put up with him anymore. About 5 or 6 hours went by and my phone rings again. It's none other than the screw up himself:
Past:"Do you know who this is?"
Me:"I'm guessing its the fuck up of my last ex boyfriend that can't hold a steady job or support his child, so he figured he would justify all that by getting engaged to some drug head tramp that his family hates."
Past:"Damnit Meghan, don't start please."
Me:"You called me, what do you need?"
Past:"What do you think about all this?"
Me:"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God?"
Past:"I've got a feeling that this isn't going to make me happy, but yea I do."
Me:"Ok, here goes; why in God's name would you want to marry some tramp that your family despises, when you have no job, are in debt up to your ears, can't support your child, whom should come before any piece of ass and free rent in this world, and when that tramp quit her part-time job because she couldn't trust you while you were "working". Do you realize in the last 2 years, you have worked 28 days! That's it, 28 freakin days, Josh. Your now even more in debt than you were before. You're avoiding your family because of it, and you refuse to leave that piece of trash you call a girlfriend, to do anything about it. You know your Mother hates her, and she will never be allowed nor welcomed in your family and she better not have dreams of becoming Brenton's step-mommie, because that damn sure will never happen." "Have you even told your Mother what you've gotten yourself into now?"
Past:"No, but I'm sure you will as soon as we hang up."
Me:"Your damn right I will. Do you realize how ridiculous you both are for calling your ex-girlfriend to get "advice" on what to do? I'm going to tell you just like I told that tramp, I could give a shit less what you're doing, where you're at, who you're with, or why you're doing it. I got over you a long time ago, and I told you both a long time ago to leave me out of whatever ya'll are doing. This isn't upsetting me or making me wish I had you back. This is pissing me off because ya'll won't leave me alone, and making me the happiest I've ever been for not having to deal with you or your problems."
Past:"I should've stayed with you, or gotten back with you a long time ago."
Me:"There was one point where I would've taken you back in a heartbeat, but everyday you continue to prove what a mess your life is and how you could careless about what happens in it."
Past:"I do care what happens to my life."
Me:"What about your son whose fixing to be sent to live in the depths of hell with your ex-wife because you can't pull your head out of your ass long enough to even pretend like you care. I know you love him, but you could atleast give a shit what happens to him."
Past:"I guess I was wrong in believing that if I called you, you would support me on this, but once again you've sided with my Mother."
Me:"Your damn right I have. You are fixing to make the biggest mistake of your life, and I'm not going to do a damn thing about it." "From day one, your family and I have been bailing you out of every damn situation you get youself into, and I'm sick of it. I thought when I kicked you out and you swore to me that I'd never see you again, that I'd be done with it. Damnit Josh, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you calling and disrupting me and my life, I'm sick of trying to talk some sense into that thick ass head of yours, and I'm sick of you treating me and your family like a sack of shit." "You go around doing whatever the hell you want, whenever you want, and expect us to stand by and what you screw up yet again." "We've tried every damn thing we know to keep you from screwing up, you've been given numerous opportunities to help yourself, and because it didn't benefit your habits or your penis, you walked away." "If you could move back in to your mother's and deal with no girlfriend, beer, or drugs for a couple months, you might realize what a mess your life is, but instead you'd rather run around like a drunken, unemployed wild child with a tramp ass girlfriend." You are the most selfish, ungrateful person I have ever met and for one in my life I'm glad to not be attached or associated with you."
Past:"Are you done yet?" " I knew when I called that you were going to yell at me, but I didn't think you would take it this far as to hurt my feelings."
Me:"I'm glad your feelings are hurt, think about all the other people's feelings you've hurt, and you never once gave a shit."
Past:"I do care, you know I care about you; I always did and always will."
Me:" I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ME YOU IDIOT, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR SON!"
Past:"Ok, I'm getting of the phone, I'm sure you need to call my mother anyway, and I'm tired of you yelling at me and putting me down."
Me:"Get used to it, because I have no respect for someone that doesn't take responsibilities for their actions, or their children, and can't hold a steady job because they'd rather party. Your grown Josh, it's time to start acting like it." "You always wonder why your Mother likes me and doesn't like Heather, lets compare her and I real quick. I have a full-time job, I have my own apartment, I pay numerous bills on my own, I'm paying off a brand new car, ON MY OWN, and I depend on not one person in this world to do all of that. Heather, on the other hand, quit her job to go watch over you while you worked, because she didn't trust you, lives with her best friend's parents, doesn't have a car because her license got suspended when she got a DWI, and is addicted to anything you put in front of her stupid ass." "Now, who do you think looks better in your Mother's eyes?"
Past:"You, but not everyone can be as perfect as you are."
Me:"I'm not perfect Josh, and I never said I was. I just realized early on that you can't depend on someone else for everything you need. I work for everything I have, and you have to keep working to acquire more, everyone has to grow up sometime, I just did it before you. When we first got together, your Mother didn't like me, and I didn't like her either, but instead of talking crap about one another like children, we were able to talk openly and honestly about everything. She told me what she wanted me to do and what I could do to earn her respect and approval, and I busted my ass to do that. I got a better job, a new apartment, and out of my mother's house."
Past:" I guess we all need to be more like you."
Me:"Ok, your missing the point. I didn't say everyone had to be like me, I said GROW UP AND QUIT DEPENDING ON EVERYONE ELSE TO BAIL YOUR ASS OUT OF EVERYTHING!"
Past:"I can tell your upset, so I'm getting off the phone for real this time. I'll quit calling you and leave you be with your life."
Me:You'll never leave me be, but I'd appreciate you telling your "girlfriend" or whatever she is, to quit calling me because I don't give a rat's ass about what ya'll are doing now. You don't need my approval to screw up again. Call your Mother, and let her know what your doing now."
Past:"I'm not calling her, you know you'll call her anyway."
Me:"No I'm not, it's not my job to report your every doing to her, and it's too late to call over there anyway." "I will be calling her tomorrow though."
Past:"Fine, ya'll always gang up against me anyway."
Me:"Well when you continue to screw up, someone's got to do it. I'll talk to you later."
**we get off the phone and I think about everything he's done since we've been apart, and I'm truly glad that my name's not attached to it. I don't regret being with him, I regret not getting away a lot sooner.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Me:"Knock, Knock Bob."
Bob:"Hey Meghan, what can I help you with?"
Me:"Human resources chick said that you had to sign off on this."
Bob:"Let me see what you have there."
(I hand him the letter, he reads, he looks up at me....)
Bob:Well, Meghan, are you sure you want to do this?"
Me:"Yes sir, I don't use the account other than to pay one bill."
Bob:"What can I do to stop this?"
Me:(smiling from ear to ear)"You can give me a raise and I'll direct deposit it all day long."
Bob:(he's laughing and grabbing a pen) "No, I'll sign it."
Me(thinking what a tight ass, I know if I was the President of a company and my employees wanted a raise, I'd give it to them) "Thank you."
Bob:"Your welcome, Meghan."
*~* It was well worth a shot, but in the end, I rebelled again and I won!!!! Hoo-Ride for Me!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
B: Birthday: September 29
C: Current Crush: too many
D: Favorite Drink: Monster Energy Drink and Malibu
E: Eating Currently: leftover lasagna
F: Favorite Food: Stuffed Shrimp from Giovanni's
G: Who Do You Go To For Advice: Mom, friends, tarot cards.....no particular order
H: Happy or Sad: Happy
I: I think: everyone should get away for a while
J: Job: Title Abstractor.
K: Any Kids: nope
L: I Love: sitting on the beach, by myself, and watching the sun go down over the water
M: Favorite Movie: Stephen King's Riding the Bullet
N: Your Phone Number: haha funny
O: One regret: Letting fear and past relationships hold me back
P: Favorite Perfume or Cologne: Victoria Secret's Amber Romance
Q: A Little Quirk About Yourself: I still sleep with a night light
R: Last Road Trip: 13 1/2 hours in the car with 2 dogs, 1 cat, 2 heathen kids, and a nagging mother to San Angelo
S: Tell Us One Secret: I'm afraid of falling completely, and utterly in love
T: Favorite TV Show: Gilmore Girls
U: Color of your Underwear: what underwear?
V: Last Time You Were in Vegas: Never been.
W: Wishful Thinking: Darren home for Christmas
X: X-Rays Taken This Year: None thank god
Y: Your Favorite Year of your Life: My 19th. I spent it in Cancun
Z: Zodiac Sign: Libra
Monday, December 05, 2005
- Birth Date: September 29
- Birth Location: Galveston, Tx
- Sun Sign: Libra
The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
Harmony and balance are your keynotes. You instinctively understand the need to accommodate other peoples' interests and desires, and you are always fair and willing to meet the other person half way. Tactful, diplomatic, and with considerable social awareness, you do all you can to avoid conflict and discord. You express a spirit of cooperation and compromise and often achieve through charm and discretion what would have been impossible to achieve by a direct, forceful approach.
Mental Interests and Abilities
One of your greatest assests is your ability to see both sides of an issue, and to negotiate and bring about compromise and reconciliation. Tactful, reasonable, and with considerable social finesse, you work well with people in business as well as in personal relationships. You are objective and somewhat detached from emotional bias, and make an excellent consultant, mediator, or public relations person. You insist upon fairness and seek to bring harmony or at least peaceful coexistence between people, and your diplomacy is a benefit in any business situation. You also have a fine aesthetic sensitivities and could work in an artistic or cultural environment.
Friday, December 02, 2005
It has to be YOUR way. When it isn't, you panic, but hold your ground. You keep your gun pointed and trigger finger ready, but you'd never really hurt anyone. Though you like being tough, feeling control, you often enjoy blending in and being part of the ordinary human race.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Me:"Eddie, I am so freakin' happy that you called."
Eddie:"Why? Whats wrong?"
Me:"I have having a horrible nightmare!" (and I go on to explain it to him)
Eddie"See, I knew you needed me, so I called."
Me:"Your the fuckin' greatest ever. I love you sooo much right now!"
Eddie"I know you do. How have you been doing, aside from the nightmares of getting killed?"
**we talk for about an hour, just catching up on the latest in each other's lives, because we haven't talked for about a month. After we got off the phone, I crawled back in bed and sent him a text message that said "It was really good to hear from you, you saved me tonight." It wasn't too long after I got back into bed, that I fell into a deep, undisturbed sleep. When I woke up this morning, and all day, I've had this feeling that something is really wrong. I can't figure out what, or who, or why.....it's just a feeling of uneasyness, unsure, and something really bad. I've been in a weird, cautious mood all day, like I'm waiting for the sky to fall or something. I thought I had figured it out when I almost got ran over this morning, but that wasn't it. I work in downtown Houston, and people here are a little less than genius drivers. I was crossing the street(the little walk man sign was on) when a man that had just turned the corner slammed his truck into reverse, and came barreling backwards right towards me. I just barely jumped onto the curb when he slammed on his brakes, inches from me. What did the asshole do? Rolled his window down, smiled, and waved; as if to say "Sorry 'bout that"........I have no idea why he was going backwards on a one way street in downtown Houston, but I wasn't sticking around to find out. Anywho......here's to Eddie and his impeccable timing last night....I love him so freakin' much......
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
To: Meghan Lyons
Subject: RE: i dont want bad luck (too late)
Date: Thu, 24 Nov 2005
i know you dont ever want to hear from me but i am sorry to hear what happened to you. and i apologize for ever hurting you. you are a good person and you didnt deserve that. i could never prove to you how sorry i really am. i hope you continue to better youself in all ways including losing him, as much as it may have hurt you are too good for him and you never should have had to deal with any of that crap. once again i really am sorry. if you ever decide to change your mind about giving me another chance at friendship give me a call at (number deleted by blog administrator, for the sake of being the bigger person) i dont expect your but i do hope for it daily. good luck and goodbye
racheal megan mcdaniel
I'd really like to know what you think "happened to me" because I'm sure whatever you've heard isn't the truth. I kicked Josh out 6 months ago because he wouldn't get a job and was addicted to coke. Josh and I are still friends and are on good terms with one another...I still talk to his family and him on a regular basis. I know about the times he cheated on me and we've dealt with that. I'm totally fine with the way things turned out between us and in no way hurt about it. I'd like to hear what you've heard though.
** see, I wasn't near as mean as I could have been....
I was told that he did you really wrong somehow and was addicted to meth. he was supposedly really controlling and cheated on you on a regular basis. you knew about it but he wouldnt let you leave or something well whatever happened i am glad you didnt get hurt from all of it and i wish you the best. i am sorry for all i ever did to you and hope you will forgive me. you will always be one of the best friends i ever had. i am living back at my moms now because the army kicked me out. i spent 5 months in basic training and it made me grow up and realize all i have done. i dont have a phone hear but i usually find a phone to use at some point during the day. if you dont hate me too bad then give me a number and we could atleast talk even if it is just to hear what i have heard although i would rather it be for some type of friendship. e-mail me back if you get the chance. see ya later
He was addicted to meth, he was controlling, he was NOT cheating on me on a regular basis, all though he did cheat on me with YOU, sarah, and another Megan. I have no harsh feelings towards him or anyone else that he associates with. I don't want to drag up everything about josh and I that I have worked so hard for the last 6 months to put behind me. He really hurt me and it still hurts to this day, but I've come a long way in not letting him bother me anymore. I hope you can understand what I mean when I say that there will never be a "friendship" between us again. You represent a part of my life that I try harder and harder everyday to forget. You, Josh, and anyone else that I used to talk to from that crowd are apart of my past, and I don't want to keep bringing it up. I couldn't ever look at you the same way, knowing that you royally fucked me over. I'm doing good now, I have my own house, I have a great job, and a brand new car, and I am very happy, just know that I have no hard feelings towards you or your sister, but I can't be around someone that fucked me over or was associated with the "josh" part of my life. All that is over now, and I don't want to remember it everytime I look at a "friend". Good luck in life and all you do.
** once again, I could have been really really mean! The bitch slept with my boyfriend!
you have only heard one side of the story and this will be the last e-mail if that is what you wish. yes i sleep with josh not while you were together i told him to get back with you. i did not sleep with any of his friends so i am lost on that one. i did kiss chris and i did kiss jd i did not sleep with any of his friends. he broke up with you on his own and that was when we slept together. he said you guys were totally through and after his short comings i told him to get back with you. i dont want anything to do with him. i dont remember what all the rest of that said but i am very for you and your knew life i am glad you could rise above it all. goodbye
so just because she slept with him and he didn't measure up to her whore ass expectations, she sent him back to me, because God knows it was that decision right there that would have made or broke mine and Past's relationship. Who are you kidding bitch? You were just another notch on his belt, at least I got almost 3 years out of him! Ha, you got 2.5 min!
Monday, November 28, 2005
1.He was addicted to meth/anything you put in front of his nose
2.He was controlling
3.He cheated on me on a regular basis
4. He was abusive both physically and mentally
5. I wasn't allowed out without him
Whoever is telling her this crap, which I'm guessing is Past's friend whom she slept with too, told her mostly true things, other than number 3. Yes, he did cheat on me but it wasn't on a regular basis. I sent her another email and told her that if she wanted to read all the happenings of mine and Pasts' relationship, and get the truth, she could visit my website. Am I wrong for not wanting to be "friends" with someone that slept with my ex while we were very much together, and that I couldn't trust from the beginning? No, didn't think so. I'm very happy with my life now, and she represents a part of my life that I try harder and harder to forget everyday. I don't want to be associated with anyone that I used to hang out with in that crowd and I damn sure don't want to talk to anyone that still associates with Past. I had a run-in with Past last night. He was at my apartment complex, talking to a friend, but strangely parked in front of my house. I was with another friend, who happens to be in the male species. Well, true to "Past form" he got a little hurt and I had all the satisfaction in the world knowing that it was killing him to see me get in some other guys vehicle, laughing, and drive-off. Its times like those when I wish I had a camera. He still has a girlfriend, and I still don't want him back, so he can get off whatever stalker trip he's on and get over himself, because he's really not all he's cracked up to be. I hope when the so called "friend" reads this, she prints it out and shows it to him. How funny is that? Why in hell would I want to be friends with someone like her? She's a lying, manipulative, front-stabbing, homewrecker. I don't blame her entirely for sleeping with him, because it was apparently her life long fantasy, but was it what you always expected? HELL NO!!! haha Past is pretty much "short" if you know what I mean, and I know she got nothing out of it, so really, I could care less. Now, if I can get her to stop e-mailing me, we'll be doing even better than before......
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
- I have uneven ears.
- I'm deathly afraid of cemetaries.
- I still sleep with a night-light.
- I want my Mommy when I'm sick.
- Sometimes I scream for no reason.
- My cat hates me.
- My friends think I'm completly nuts, but so are they!
- I cried when I moved out on my own.
- I write poetry.
- My favorite color is pink.
- I'm afraid of falling absolutely, completely, and utterly in love.
- I hate being alone.
- I can cry on command.(comes in handy when dealing with the ex).
- I live in complete chaos, because I wouldn't have it any other way.
- I'm unpredictable
- I'm unstable
- I'm a force to be reckoned with
- I'm only 5'0
- I still fit in my 12 year old brother's shoes
- I can't stand my family for more than 30 minutes at a time.
- I've fantisized about killing someone with a stilletto shoe.
- I still wonder whether God is real or not.
- I refuse to believe that the virgin Mary is a "virgin"
- I believe in following your dreams(unless they're deadly)
- I can't tell you my natural hair color anymore, I have to refer to pictures.
- I've been to Cancun
- My little brother looks exactly like me
- I wish on falling stars
- I once laughed so hard I made myself puke
- I laugh out loud at random times, for nothing in particular
- I'm a self-diagnosed lunatic
- I will kill deer, just not any other animal, because anything else is just cruel
- I don't have a birthmark
- I can mimick any foreigner (especially Chinese, Vietnemese, or any other "ese")
- I hate my evil "step-thing" (Dad's new thing)
- I get really loud and funny when I'm drinking
- I can dance to anything on the radio
- My car is a disaster area because I refuse to clean it
- My house smells like warm vanilla sugar and cinnamon buns
- I smoke all day long
- I need music and a notebook to get me out of a bad mood
- When I'm sad I eat starbursts and write in my journal
- I cry when I feel I've let myself down
- I hate my last name
- My cell phone is my life-line
- I dip Nestle Crunch bars in my hot chocolate
- I still drink apple juice every night before bed
- My bathroom is done in rubber duckies
- I don't have one friend below the age of 23
- Before I die, I will visit Paris
- Cupid works for the devil.
- Be suspicious if ANY man cries.
- Sex is usually good, but it ain't always right.
- Chocolate is a band-aid no matter what anyone says.
- Shoes won't ever stretch.
- MEN DON'T CHANGE!
I need my jammies, a pint of ice cream, a vicodan, and the t.v. remote and I'd be set. I feel like I've been run over by a dump truck and then backed over, just for good measure. PMS IS THE BEST!!! Ha, I should rewind time and beat the hell out of Adam.....see our problems began with me, and I've got a feeling they'll end that way too!
Monday, November 21, 2005
Past:"You win, you sneaky little bitch."
Me:"What did you call me? What did I win?"
Past:"You and my mother both are sneaky little bitches, and you win the war, me and Heather broke up."
Me:"What's your point?"
Past:"Isn't that what you wanted?"
Me:"No, I really didn't care either way. I just liked pissing her off, and making your life a living hell like you did to me."
Past:"Where are you?"
Me:"What day is it?"
Past:"Sunday, your at your mothers."
Me:"Ding, Ding, Johnny! Tell 'em what he wins"
Past:"When are you going to your house?"
Me:"Why? You think since ya'll broke up you can run back to me, just like that?"
Past:"You know I love you, and didn't want to be with her."
Me:"We'll talk about this later. I'm on my way home, so meet me there."
*-* To make a long, and repetitive story, really short. He came over, we talked, he "said" he hated her, she was dumb as a box of rocks, and he wasn't going back. I'm very cautious with my feelings, and heart towards him. My heart has been ripped out, walked on, and band-aided back together many, many times in the 2 and a half years "we" were. We've been going back and forth for the last 6 months with each other. My feelings have changed drastically towards Past in the last 2 months. I know now, I don't need him. I never NEEDED him. It wasn't love, it was companionship. I highly doubt myself when it comes to love. I believe nobody on this earth knows the true meaning. I believe you can find that one special person and be with them for the rest of your life and be happy, but love was made up by Hallmark and candy companies for Valentines Day. Anywho.....::Fast forward to last-night:: I get another phone call from, none other than the highly illusive and pesterious Past;
Me:"Hey yourself,jackass, what do you want this time?"
Past:"What in the hell got into you?"
Me:"Not you!!!" hahahah laughing my ass off at that one!
Past:"I know that. Why the attitude?"
Me:"Everytime I see one of your many phone numbers on my phone, I get the urge to puke and my head starts pounding. My ears turn off, because all I hear are lies, bullshit, and empty promises."
Past:"Sounds like you figured me out."
Me:"A long time ago......where are you calling from now?" Jail? Rehab?"
Past:"No, smartass. I'm at work?"
Me: haha(laughing my ass off again) your funny. Seriously, where are you?"
Past:"Damnit Meghan, why can't you be serious?"
Me:"There is NO serious between you and I any longer. I'm glad to hear you are working, though."
Me:"How long will this job last?"
Past:"They're saying a couple months, but you know how this goes." I could be home tomorrow."
Me:"I know." "How's the "new thing"?
Past:"You know her name, Meghan, and I don't know how she is because I haven't talked to her yet."
Me:"Such a healthy relationship you have going there. Get in from work and call the ex, before you call the new one." Nice!"
Past:"I'm in Huntsville. Are you going to come up for a weekend?"
(once again, I find this hilariously funny)
Me:"Let me call "her" and I'll see if thats ok with her."
Past:"You always come up and see me, when I'm working."
Me:"Yea, when we were TO-GET-HER, we're not anymore, and no, I'm not coming to see you."
Past:"It's not the same, Meghan. You took care of me. You cooked, cleaned, washed the clothes.
Me:"Well, love is blind and little did I know, you were just another dead end road paved with pretty lies and broken dreams."
(he gets really mad and starts yelling here)
Past:" DAMNIT MEGHAN. ALL I EVER DO IS TRY AND GET US BACK TOGETHER. YOU WANTED ME TO WORK, SO I'M WORKING. YOU WANTED ME TO QUIT DOING DRUGS, SO I QUIT DOING DRUGS. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?"
Me:"I want you to lower your voice, and speak to me in a calm, adult manner."
Past:"Ok, I'm sorry."
Me:"I know you are, now apologize!" Ok, Ok.....I'll quit being a smartass. I just find it extremely funny that you are "trying" to get us back together when you have a fucking girlfriend, and have since I kicked your ass out 6 months ago! Your not working on a god-damned thing, other than another dead end relationship." "I refuse to come see you, talk to you, e-mail you, or have anyother form of communication with you until you are single, have had a job for more than 6 months, and live in your own house." "I have no need for someone that works and makes as much as you do and has not a damn thing to show for it. It's all one big circle with you. Work, spend everything you make, get laid off, lay up for a year, work, spend all you have.... are you catching on here?"
Past:"I know, Meghan. I'm trying to do better."
Me:"Well, try harder. I can't help you anymore. I have to go."
Past:"Your really not going to come up here are you?"
(he gets really quiet and all sad sounding)
Me:"No, I'm not."
Past:"Ok, I guess I'll let you go now."
Me:"You need to, it's not healthy to hang on like you have."
Past:"Shut up, you know what I mean."
Me:"Yea, I mean what you know." Past.......I don't even know what to say to you anymore, it hurts me that we're not "us" anymore, but I'm at the point with you now, that I really dont' care if I don't see you again. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. I've never lied to you, and I'm not going to start now."
Past:"Quit calling me that." I know everytime I call you, you get upset and nothing ever works out like I want it to, so I'll hang up now, and that'll be it. I won't bother you anymore. I figured it was worth a shot to ask anyway."
Me:"Ok, be good and maybe we'll see each other sometime."
Past:"Bye Meghan, I love you."
***I hung up, and just sat there. A big part of me wanted to call him back and tell him I'd be there, but a bigger part of me kept saying "let it go, Meghan, he's just trying to get to you to see if he still has control over you." The weird part was, that voice in my head, sounded a lot like a good friend of mine; Hi, Train! Well, guess what mother fucker, the only control you have over anyone is that tramp ass girlfriend you have!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
Mom: "Meghan!" "You took my pack of cigarettes!"
Me:"No, I didn't. I have one pack of cigarettes and it has 12 in it."
Mom:"Well, I had just opened my pack and smoked only one out of it."
Me:"Then you would have 19 cigarettes and not the 12 that I have."
Mom:"I know that Meghan. My pack was on the table, beside my purse before you left and now it's not."
Me:"Joey sat my pack beside your purse, you need to look again."
Mom:"Your pack was in your purse....
Me:"Yea, until Joey took it out and then threw the pack on the table beside your purse."
Mom:"Then you have 2 packs of cigarettes."
Me:"No, I'm looking right now, as I'm driving down the road, I only have one pack and it has 12 cigarettes in it."
Mom:"Then I guess mine just got up and walked off....."
Me:"Either that or you lost them.....do you want me to drive all the way back to the house to show you that I have ONE pack of cigarettes and it only has 12 in it?"
Mom:"No, I want to know where you put mine."
Me:"I didn't put yours anywhere, I have ONE pack, and have not touched another one.
Mom:"Fine, I guess they just disappeared, click....
--first off, I hate being hung up on. Second, I hate it even worse when it comes from my mother. I can't believe she fuckin' hung up on me! I don't now, nor did I ever have her damn cigarettes. I swear, that woman is gong to be the death of me. All the pills in the world couldn't help her remember shit! Here's to pills, 40-somethings, and finding that ever so illusive pack of cigarettes, may the best hunter win......
You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet.Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings.You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments.You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action.
Your strength: Your vivid imagination
Your weakness: Fear of failure
Your power color: Coral
Your power symbol: Oval
Your power month: November
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
Friday, November 11, 2005
Thursday, November 10, 2005
The letter:"Tyler would not follow instructions, when I told him to sit down and get his work out, instead he started rummaging through the stuff on my desk and ignored me. I told him again to sit down, and he looked at me and said:
The Letter:"and then sat down and started working on the sucker.
I shit you not, the write up says: "he sat down and started working on the sucker."
Ok, I'm not sure which or what sucker the teacher is talking about, but knowing my little brother, it's a piece of candy he stole while rummaging through her desk. So, I'm sure tonight I'll have to find out why he was going through her desk and exactly what "sucker" she is talking about. He had ALC (alternative learning center), which is basically in school suspenion, yesterday for the "chunk muffin" comment. I'm sure he'll be back in there again for pilaging the desk and stealing suckers. Jesus, what is this world coming to? I can only imagine what will happen when he gets into high school. Here's to Tyler, may you never realize where you get your attitude and smart mouth from........
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Me:"Tyler, unlock the door."
Tyler:"No, what do you want? I'm taking a bath."
Me:"Your not taking a bath, the water isn't running! Open the door."
now mind you, I'm laughing so hard my stomach is hurting and trying to yell at him
Me:"Who did you call a "doughnut chunk muffin?"
Tyler names some kid in his class......
Me:"Why? What did he do?"
Tyler:"He's fat and slow....."
Me(trying to catch my breath) Tyler, you can't call people names."
Tyler:"He's mean to me and he's a fat ass."
Me:"Ok, give me a high-five, cause that shit was pretty funny, but quit calling people names. I'll beat your ass if I hear it again."
Tyler:"Whatever Mae-Mae, your laughing."
Me:"Just because I'm laughing, that doesn't make it right.:
Me:"Alright, I'm leaving. Get your ass in the shower and get your homework done."
Tyler:"Ok, loser." (hehehe)
Me:"I'm not playing with you. I'm calling mom."
Tyler:"Call her, she doesn't scare me."
*-* He's right, Mom, you quit scaring us a long time ago, but everyone knows that I still scare the bejesus out of him.*-* So, I ran towards him really quick, grabbed and shoved him into the shower and turned on the cold water. Now, he has no choice but to take a bath since he's already in there. A little sisterly love never hurt anyone. I get in my car and get to my dates' house and call my mother..here's that one
Me:"Mom, is Tyler grounded?"
Me:"I read his write up and that shit is funny."
Mom:"Meghan Elise, you better not have laughed at him!"
Me:"I did, and I gave him a high five."
Mom:" All three of you have laughed at him now. He needs to know that he can't act like that and he needs to shut his mouth."
--when she says "all three of you" she's referring to me and my two other siblings--
Me:"You can't be a member of our family and shut your mouth. It just doesn't work." "But you have to give it to him, that was pretty funny." "I haven't even thought of that, and I call everyone "muffin"!
Mom:"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?"
Me:"I'm at his house right now, why?"
Mom:"Then why are you on the phone with me?"
Me:"I don't know. I'll call you later."
Mom" Love you bye."
Me:"Love you bye."
All in all, my family pretty much agrees we're hilarious. The Osbournes don't hold a candle to us, and we're damn proud of it.........
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Jessica:"Ashlyne, Aunt Mae-Mae is here."
Me:"Why is she being so quiet? She usually runs outside to meet me."
Jessica:"She might be asleep, go check.."
...walking quietly into the little room of Winnie the Pooh that I love so much....
Me:"Hey Punkin, wake up." "You wanna go get some chick-chick fries?"
Ashlyne:"Hey Meggie, I missed you."
Once again, anyone that knows me, knows how much that name repulses me. I get an image of some little rich, snotty looking preppy slut, and it all goes downhill from there. I can not stand to be called that. Jessica is laughing so hard she is crying, and I'm so shocked I have nothing to say.....
Jessica:"I have no clue where she got that. I've always called you Mae Mae in front of her."
Me:"Ashlyne, my name is Aunt Mae Mae."
Ashlyne:"Uh huh, Meggie."
..this goes on for about 20 minutes and I finally give up, because like her mother and god-mother she is stubborn as hell and when she sets her mind on something, it's not changing...I go and put her car seat in my car and we head to McDonalds to get chicken nugget happy meals, or as Ashlyne calls them, "chick-chick fries".....
After waiting in line at the house of childhood horrors, we get back to my apartment and I set Ashlyne at the table and go about cleaning up while she eats. About 10 minutes goes by and I hear...
Me:"Punkin, my name is Mae-Mae"
Ashlyne:"OK Meggie, ketchup."
Fine, I will give in to her and let her call me whatever she wants because 1)she's two. 2)she's my god-daughter and 3) she's just so damn cute
I sit down to eat with her and she says "Meggie, watch Thomas." She's talking about her Thomas the Tank movie. I figure I can put this movie on, settle her in, and get a good 30 minutes to clean the rest of my house.....WRONG!
Ashlyne:"Meggie, watch Thomas me."
Me:"Baby, I'll watch in a minute. I'm cleaning."
Ashlyne:(with the pouty lip) "pleeeeeease."
Me:"Ok, I'll watch."
So I sit down on the couch and she curls up on my chest, just like she did when she was 6 months old, and we watch Thomas. I came to the sad realization that my life had come to eating happy meals, watching Thomas the Tank, and being called Meggie.......
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Sent : Wednesday, October 26, 2005 5:49 AM
To : Meghan
Subject : You and I
It's incredibly difficult for some people to find that one person that will be there until the end, in fact, most people are old in age before they can find some "filler" to spend the rest of their years. It's amazing how small of a speck each and every life really is in the big scheme of things, and yet the little time we have in this life, and the few chances we have to get it right, we still waste a large part of it fighting useless battles and working too hard to acquire things that will have no real value when we die. I want to spend the rest of my life doing whatever makes me happy so that when I leave this world I'll know that I did everything there was in life to do, and that I took every available chance to do what I did right. I believe that despite what a person has done in their past, they have the chance to change their own future. I guess what you need to know is that I'm lucky, I'm lucky to have met you so early in life. I was just visiting a friends house and there YOU were. I could never have known the impact that you would have on my life, or my heart. You are my one TRUE love, and no one before you or after you will ever mean as much to me as you. No One. I really thought I knew what love was, until my ignorance and immature attitude let me walk out of your house. Since then I haven't felt right, I wasn't able to walk away from you like I had everything and everyone else that had gone wrong in my life. I needed you and I still do. You are there in everything I do, even in my dreams. I want you to know that I love You, and I will always love You. Whoever it was that made the plans concerning our lives apparently knew that You and I were to be together. It was not a mistake. Josh
*-*After seeing him last night, and spending much needed time together, as I got in my car to drive home, I did cry. I cried like a little pussy........