Monday, August 29, 2005

The Voices Told Me To

I sometimes get these wierd impulses, and for anyone that knows me, they also know that since birth, I have been unable to control these voices which create the impulses. Sometimes I get in trouble for them, (Hi Mary in HR!!) and sometimes I laugh so hard my stomach hurts and I've got tears running down my face. Well, Friday night I got one of these famous "impulses." I was on my way home at about 4:oo a.m. and decided to call a friend to tell him I was dying and that he should meet me at my house to hold me until that point. He answers the phone and it went something like this:
Friend: "Hey Meghan"
Me: "Hey Sex puppet, whats going on?"
Friend: "Oh, not a whole hell of a lot just hanging out at Mitch's"
Me:"Well, thats sounds like ass loads of fun, but I'm dying:
Friend: "Your what?"
Me:" You heard me crack pot, I'm dying."
Friend: "well everyone has to die sometime. What are you dying from?"
Me: "Lack of sex.....and beer.....and you."
Friend: "Well I can't let that happen, now can I?"
Me: "No, because you'd be one cold hearted son of a bitch if you did!" Plus, you left something turned on at my house anyway."
Friend: "I did? What would that be?"
Me: "That would be me, you jackass, are you coming over or what? I'm tired of fucking with you and your starting to piss me off."
Friend:" Yes, you angry little midget, I'm coming over. I'll meet you there." Oh, and Meghan..."
Me:" Yes, bunny rabbit....."
Friend: " The next time you need something, or some, just call me and tell me that."
Me:"So, our next conversation will go something like, "Hey you, meet me at my house so we can do it."
Friend: "That'll work, but there better be a bubble bath and candles involved because I like to be romanced."
Me: "Screw you bunny, no bubbles and no candles." I'll see you in 5 minutes."
Friend: "Ok, see ya then."
Me: " Bye muffin!"
Friend: "bye midget!"

*-*- God, is it just me or am I hilarious? Ok, maybe it is just me. But haven't they always said that until you make yourself happy, you can't make someone else happy? Well, I'm pretty freakin' happy right now. I'm just a dork I guess! hahah

2 comments:

Marilyn said...

"I sometimes get these wierd impulses, and for anyone that knows me, they also know that since birth, I have been unable to control these voices which create the impulses. "

It is called Schizophrenia. There are pills for that.

LoveMeHell said...

but the pills make the voices go away, and I like the voices. They keep me company!