Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The Logical Side of Me

Often, our most trying times come at our darkest hours. The times when we feel we can't go on, we feel as if all is lost and the world has turned its back on us. More often, if we would just turn around and look, it is us that has turned our back on the world. At an early age, we learn to supress emotions, memories, and most often, our own thoughts, needs, and wants for the sake of other beings . Why help yourself when there are others who need our help? Right? WRONG! For one to fully help, guide, or teach another, we have to completely understand our own mind, needs, thoughts, and wants. Bottling up emotions will only lead to greater, more complex problems. The need and want to help others less fortunate, for lack of better term, is basic instinct. As children we strive to please our parents, as adolescents we feel the need to please peers and teaches, as adults, the needs and wants become more of a challenge; ranging from pressures at home, to being the best at our careers, and finally, achieving our life-long goals and ambitions. The greatest need that will never fade is that of love. Most of us are born into loving, caring families, while others search for years before finding it. On a recent shopping spree with my three year old god-daughter, she asked me the most complex question I have ever heard come out of a child's mouth. She looked up from the shopping cart, with those big, blue eyes that I live for, and asked; "Aunt Meggie, if you had one wish in the world, what would it be?" First off, my god-daughter is the ONLY, I repeat, ONLY human being on the face of this earth allowed to call me Meggie. Now, as I thought about my answer, she began to ramble on about Dora pajamas, Spongebob backpacks, and other great things to a three year old. I, on the other hand, was mentally asking myself that same question over and over again. Ashlyne, annoyed with my lapse in answering her question, began to repeat, rather loudly: "So, whaddya wish for?", as if I had just blown out the candles on a birthday cake. I began to answer, stopped myself because I realized I was conversing with a three year old child, and rephrased my answer, so hopefully her young mind would be able to understand the wish I had. "Punkin," I said, using the nick-name she received at birth, "if I had one wish in the world, I'd wish for never-ending, make your knees weak, would die without it, love." As she stared back at me, like I was an alien from some other planet, she just smiled and started that laugh of hers that I absolutely adore. Me, feeling like an idiot for giving such a simple mind, such a complicated answer, I poked her in the belly and asked, "Whats so funny, honey?" She looked up at me, this time acknowledging me as the Aunt Meggie she knows and loves, her eyes still dancing with laughter, and said "I thought you were going to say, all the chick-chick fries in the world." Chick-chick fries, for those of you wondering, are Ashlyne's name for chicken nuggets and french fries. Now, grant it I do love me some chick chick fries, I guess I was being way too philosophical for her young mind. Ok, back from memory lane now, and to the real reason I am writing this. The love of another is equal to, let's say Buzzlightyear's famous line, "To infinity and beyond", our parents love is in a completely different, deeper, ever-lasting, non-sexual way. Well, some parents don't always abide by the "non-sexual" aspect, but that's a whole different topic and one I won't touch. I guess what all this is coming down to, is that once you find that love you can't live without, don't let it go. Cherish it, and thank God that you've found it. Most of the time, it only happens once.

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