Monday, December 12, 2005

Past Mistakes.....

I'm going through life again, no word from Past, because he's "working" and all that is just great with me. If I don't have to talk to him, then I don't have to worry about what a screw up he is, or how great of a mistake I made when I got with him. I'm enjoying my weekend and went to dinner and a movie with friends to see Chronicles of Narnia, which by the way, was great. I remember reading the books in school, and loved them then too. The movie actually followed the books. Anyways, I get home a phone call Sunday morning that went a little something like this:
Me: "Hello"
Me:"Yea, what do you want?"
PastGirlfriend:"I need some advice."
Me:What did Past do now?"
PastGirlfriend:"Nothing, we got engaged, and I don't know if I should marry him or not."
Me:"I know I've always wanted to marry someone whose family hates me, can't support their child, can't hold a steady job, and is addicted to any type of drug you put in front of their face."
PastGirlfriend:"Yea, I was thinking about that. I don't know if I should go through with it or not."
Me:"I don't know why your calling me, because 1. I don't care if ya'll are engaged or not 2. I could give a shit less if you wanted my advice, because you don't listen anyway 3.Why in the hell are you calling me?"
PastGirlfriend:"Well, you dated him for almost 3 years, and he still talks to you, so I figured I would call and ask."
Me:"No, you called to try and start shit because you think I give a fuck about him still, and I don't. I told you a long time ago that I didn't and for both you of to stop calling me. Congratulations on the divorce, I've gotta go."
PastGirlfriend: "You think we'll get divorced?"
Me:"Once his mother finds out, you won't even be getting married. I have to go, I don't have time for the petty bullshit. I told you that I didn't give a fuck about either of you, and ya'll continue to call me, both of you calling me and telling me that ya'll got engaged is not going to hurt me, make me cry, or make me wish that I was still with him. All it is making me do is be very happy that you got what I didn't want anymore, and happier that I realized what a fuck up he is. I've never been happier in my life to know that I do not have to look or deal with someone again."

**I then hung up on her and went about my day. I didn't cry, or feel sad that they were engaged because honestly, I'm happier than ever that I don't have to put up with him anymore. About 5 or 6 hours went by and my phone rings again. It's none other than the screw up himself:
Past:"Do you know who this is?"
Me:"I'm guessing its the fuck up of my last ex boyfriend that can't hold a steady job or support his child, so he figured he would justify all that by getting engaged to some drug head tramp that his family hates."
Past:"Damnit Meghan, don't start please."

Me:"You called me, what do you need?"
Past:"What do you think about all this?"
Me:"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God?"
Past:"I've got a feeling that this isn't going to make me happy, but yea I do."
Me:"Ok, here goes; why in God's name would you want to marry some tramp that your family despises, when you have no job, are in debt up to your ears, can't support your child, whom should come before any piece of ass and free rent in this world, and when that tramp quit her part-time job because she couldn't trust you while you were "working". Do you realize in the last 2 years, you have worked 28 days! That's it, 28 freakin days, Josh. Your now even more in debt than you were before. You're avoiding your family because of it, and you refuse to leave that piece of trash you call a girlfriend, to do anything about it. You know your Mother hates her, and she will never be allowed nor welcomed in your family and she better not have dreams of becoming Brenton's step-mommie, because that damn sure will never happen." "Have you even told your Mother what you've gotten yourself into now?"

Past:"No, but I'm sure you will as soon as we hang up."
Me:"Your damn right I will. Do you realize how ridiculous you both are for calling your ex-girlfriend to get "advice" on what to do? I'm going to tell you just like I told that tramp, I could give a shit less what you're doing, where you're at, who you're with, or why you're doing it. I got over you a long time ago, and I told you both a long time ago to leave me out of whatever ya'll are doing. This isn't upsetting me or making me wish I had you back. This is pissing me off because ya'll won't leave me alone, and making me the happiest I've ever been for not having to deal with you or your problems."
Past:"I should've stayed with you, or gotten back with you a long time ago."

Me:"There was one point where I would've taken you back in a heartbeat, but everyday you continue to prove what a mess your life is and how you could careless about what happens in it."
Past:"I do care what happens to my life."
Me:"What about your son whose fixing to be sent to live in the depths of hell with your ex-wife because you can't pull your head out of your ass long enough to even pretend like you care. I know you love him, but you could atleast give a shit what happens to him."
Past:"I guess I was wrong in believing that if I called you, you would support me on this, but once again you've sided with my Mother."
Me:"Your damn right I have. You are fixing to make the biggest mistake of your life, and I'm not going to do a damn thing about it." "From day one, your family and I have been bailing you out of every damn situation you get youself into, and I'm sick of it. I thought when I kicked you out and you swore to me that I'd never see you again, that I'd be done with it. Damnit Josh, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you calling and disrupting me and my life, I'm sick of trying to talk some sense into that thick ass head of yours, and I'm sick of you treating me and your family like a sack of shit." "You go around doing whatever the hell you want, whenever you want, and expect us to stand by and what you screw up yet again." "We've tried every damn thing we know to keep you from screwing up, you've been given numerous opportunities to help yourself, and because it didn't benefit your habits or your penis, you walked away." "If you could move back in to your mother's and deal with no girlfriend, beer, or drugs for a couple months, you might realize what a mess your life is, but instead you'd rather run around like a drunken, unemployed wild child with a tramp ass girlfriend." You are the most selfish, ungrateful person I have ever met and for one in my life I'm glad to not be attached or associated with you."
Past:"Are you done yet?" " I knew when I called that you were going to yell at me, but I didn't think you would take it this far as to hurt my feelings."
Me:"I'm glad your feelings are hurt, think about all the other people's feelings you've hurt, and you never once gave a shit."
Past:"I do care, you know I care about you; I always did and always will."
Past:"Ok, I'm getting of the phone, I'm sure you need to call my mother anyway, and I'm tired of you yelling at me and putting me down."
Me:"Get used to it, because I have no respect for someone that doesn't take responsibilities for their actions, or their children, and can't hold a steady job because they'd rather party. Your grown Josh, it's time to start acting like it." "You always wonder why your Mother likes me and doesn't like Heather, lets compare her and I real quick. I have a full-time job, I have my own apartment, I pay numerous bills on my own, I'm paying off a brand new car, ON MY OWN, and I depend on not one person in this world to do all of that. Heather, on the other hand, quit her job to go watch over you while you worked, because she didn't trust you, lives with her best friend's parents, doesn't have a car because her license got suspended when she got a DWI, and is addicted to anything you put in front of her stupid ass." "Now, who do you think looks better in your Mother's eyes?"
Past:"You, but not everyone can be as perfect as you are."
Me:"I'm not perfect Josh, and I never said I was. I just realized early on that you can't depend on someone else for everything you need. I work for everything I have, and you have to keep working to acquire more, everyone has to grow up sometime, I just did it before you. When we first got together, your Mother didn't like me, and I didn't like her either, but instead of talking crap about one another like children, we were able to talk openly and honestly about everything. She told me what she wanted me to do and what I could do to earn her respect and approval, and I busted my ass to do that. I got a better job, a new apartment, and out of my mother's house."
Past:" I guess we all need to be more like you."
Me:"Ok, your missing the point. I didn't say everyone had to be like me, I said GROW UP AND QUIT DEPENDING ON EVERYONE ELSE TO BAIL YOUR ASS OUT OF EVERYTHING!"
Past:"I can tell your upset, so I'm getting off the phone for real this time. I'll quit calling you and leave you be with your life."
Me:You'll never leave me be, but I'd appreciate you telling your "girlfriend" or whatever she is, to quit calling me because I don't give a rat's ass about what ya'll are doing now. You don't need my approval to screw up again. Call your Mother, and let her know what your doing now."
Past:"I'm not calling her, you know you'll call her anyway."
Me:"No I'm not, it's not my job to report your every doing to her, and it's too late to call over there anyway." "I will be calling her tomorrow though."

Past:"Fine, ya'll always gang up against me anyway."
Me:"Well when you continue to screw up, someone's got to do it. I'll talk to you later."
Past:"Bye Meghan."
Me:"Bye Past."

**we get off the phone and I think about everything he's done since we've been apart, and I'm truly glad that my name's not attached to it. I don't regret being with him, I regret not getting away a lot sooner.


Javier Marti said...

Uouh! That was an interesting conversation with your ex. You seem to have your act together. COngratulations. More girls like you are needed

Mommy Meg said...

Thank you, Javier! I agree, more girls like me are needed.....