Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Habits, and Urges, and Addictions, oh my!
What is usually the hardest for me going through a breakup is fighting those relentless urges to contact my ex. "I just need some closure. I just need some answers 'why'. I just want to explain to them, plead with them, beg them, show them how I'm sorry. I just want to hear their voice, see their face, and have them see and hear mine. Maybe they'll realize how much they miss me...blah, blah, blah....yadda, yadda, yadda...." Ewww!!!! Those urges are just so annoying. But what drives me to follow through with them? To risk my pride, my dignity, my self-esteem, and self-respect and fall crumbling to my knees to plead with them? What are they, God or something? Geez! I'm are sorry-sack aren't I? *grins*. But we've all done it. We've all thought about planning 'accidental' meetings, dreamed of chance encounters and hoped for final conversations. We've all come up with emergency reasons to contact our ex–we've conjured up causes, and schemed, plotted, and coerced our friends to arrange it. So why do we do it and how can we cope with them? How do we fight urges that dominate our thinking and interfere with our daily routine?