From the minute my baby brother was born, he was doomed to be just like me. The looks, the stature, the witty smart ass attitude. In all his twelve years, I have come a long way in teaching him the trade of "Meghan". He's done a damn good job at catching on and sometimes even surprises the hell out of me when I hear him say something, that I've never even thought of. My mother, god bless her, has done everything in her power to stop this "teaching of the ways". Anyone that knows me, or my family, also knows that we're funny as hell and the biggest bunch of smart-asses that you'll meet. Last night, I stop by my mother's house on my way home from work, and go about fixing hair and make-up(cause I had a hot date), and listening to my brothers agrue over who was the biggest loser. My date called and said that he was home and would leave the door unlocked, so I could get in, and that he was getting in the shower. I told him I'd be over there in a minute. I finish my hair and listen to my oldest brother drill me with 20 questions on where I am going, and am just about to walk out the door. I reach onto the dining room table to get my car keys and cigarettes, when I see it. The dreaded yellow piece of paper from the school....doo doo doo doo.....someone's in trouble. I've always been involved in my little brother and sister's lives, as much as they hate it. I'm quick to tell them when they're fucking up and when they need to put forth some effort in something. I pick up the write up slip and I'm not half way through it, when my little brother runs and locks himself in the bathroom. Now I know he fucked up. I keep reading and find out why he got wrote up. At this point I'm laughing so hard, that I'm crying. I couldn't yell at him right now if I wanted to. Here goes:
Me:"Tyler, unlock the door."
Tyler:"No, what do you want? I'm taking a bath."
Me:"Your not taking a bath, the water isn't running! Open the door."
now mind you, I'm laughing so hard my stomach is hurting and trying to yell at him
Me:"Who did you call a "doughnut chunk muffin?"
Tyler names some kid in his class......
Me:"Why? What did he do?"
Tyler:"He's fat and slow....."
Me(trying to catch my breath) Tyler, you can't call people names."
Tyler:"He's mean to me and he's a fat ass."
Me:"Ok, give me a high-five, cause that shit was pretty funny, but quit calling people names. I'll beat your ass if I hear it again."
Tyler:"Whatever Mae-Mae, your laughing."
Me:"Just because I'm laughing, that doesn't make it right.:
Me:"Alright, I'm leaving. Get your ass in the shower and get your homework done."
Tyler:"Ok, loser." (hehehe)
Me:"I'm not playing with you. I'm calling mom."
Tyler:"Call her, she doesn't scare me."
*-* He's right, Mom, you quit scaring us a long time ago, but everyone knows that I still scare the bejesus out of him.*-* So, I ran towards him really quick, grabbed and shoved him into the shower and turned on the cold water. Now, he has no choice but to take a bath since he's already in there. A little sisterly love never hurt anyone. I get in my car and get to my dates' house and call my mother..here's that one
Me:"Mom, is Tyler grounded?"
Me:"I read his write up and that shit is funny."
Mom:"Meghan Elise, you better not have laughed at him!"
Me:"I did, and I gave him a high five."
Mom:" All three of you have laughed at him now. He needs to know that he can't act like that and he needs to shut his mouth."
--when she says "all three of you" she's referring to me and my two other siblings--
Me:"You can't be a member of our family and shut your mouth. It just doesn't work." "But you have to give it to him, that was pretty funny." "I haven't even thought of that, and I call everyone "muffin"!
Mom:"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?"
Me:"I'm at his house right now, why?"
Mom:"Then why are you on the phone with me?"
Me:"I don't know. I'll call you later."
Mom" Love you bye."
Me:"Love you bye."
All in all, my family pretty much agrees we're hilarious. The Osbournes don't hold a candle to us, and we're damn proud of it.........